How to Soothe a Newborn: The 5 S’s

Let’s not kid ourselves: I’m only 3 weeks in, still deep in the trenches, and hardly in a place where I can give sage parenting advice.

But I do have one thing going for me: I’m a nut when it comes to research. Just ask anyone who has ever been on vacation with me. They’ll tell you all about my neuroses–how I know every hidden spot on the island, every local restaurant, the best spot to capture Sunsets on Tuesday evenings during the summer solstice–and all well before our arrival. I’m just crazy like that.

My approach to parenting has been similar. That is, I’ve spent a good deal of time scouring the internet, reading books, and watching parenting videos. It’s not that I’m blindly searching for someone else’s parenting philosophy to adopt; it’s just that I like to be as prepared–and informed–as I can be.

This can be crippling, too, of course. And a large part of being a parent is just working from–and trusting–your instincts. It’s important to look in, as well as out. But it’s also important to recognize that you aren’t the first person trying to soothe a baby or get them to sleep through the night or teach a toddler to line dance. (okay, maybe you’re the first person doing THAT.)

Nonetheless, even though we are all experts when it comes to our babies, sometimes we could still use some help.

One of the references that I found early on is Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block. The pediatrician who led one of our childcare classes actually recommended this book, saying it saved her life when her baby had colic. When I looked on Amazon and saw that it had nearly 2,000 glowing reviews, I was sold. (Amazon reviews are basically the compass by which I live my life, anyway.)

We actually got the DVD instead of the book (because, lazy). We ordered in weeks before Finn arrived, and kept it crammed in our TV cabinet. When I got home from an outing the other day and found that Sona was nearing a meltdown because our cherubic little boy had been screaming his head off for much of the afternoon, I decided it was time to watch.

Let me preface this by saying that this DVD is dated. I mean, it was quite possibly shot on a Super 8. But don’t let that scare you. It’s definitely worth enduring.

The first thing that made us feel better was that there were “real moms” and “real babies,” and the moms were all exhaustively explaining how much their (mostly newborn) babies cry and how helpless they felt when they couldn’t soothe them. “See, we’re not the only ones!” I said to Sona, who seemed immediately comforted by seeing other moms’ misery.

Karp’s philosophy stems from age-old baby soothing techniques. He employs these techniques during the first few months of a baby’s life–a time he calls the 4th trimester. He argues that, basically, newborns are just fetuses living outside of the womb. In order to make them happy and comfortable, we have to try to make their environment as womb-like as possible.

Enter the 5 S’s: Harvey’s alliterative list of soothing techniques. Here they are:

1. Swaddling: This is really the most important step because, without doing it, the others likely won’t be effective. You start here. We’ve found that Finn LOVES to be swaddled, but he is a bit of an escape artist. And, because he is so dang long (this kid is a basketball player in the making), it’s been tricky finding a swaddle that works for him–and one from which he can’t wiggle his way out of.

First, we tried the SwaddleMe Adjustable Infant Wraps by Summer Infant. We got the small/medium, which is meant for babies that are 7-14 lbs. Well, our 7.14 lb newborn outgrew these in one week, which was a total bummer. I actually think these are the most user-friendly swaddles of the ones we tried. They get very snug on top and the velcro seems to stay fitted. However, they are just way too short–something I’ve seen other moms complain about, and Finn could use his feet to stretch the swaddles out enough to break free.

Next, we tried the Halo Sleepsack Swaddles. I actually like these a lot, as does Finn, and I think they will be great for when he is a little bigger. He likes that he has a lot of room to move his feet, and that roominess prevents him from stretching out the swaddle too much. Plus, they come in microfleece, which is great for our chilly house. However, right now, the top just doesn’t swaddle him tightly enough, and he can always break his arms free. If he even senses for a second that he can get an arm out, forget about it. That will be his project, and he won’t get a wink of sleep.

Finally, I ordered the Miracle Blanket Baby Swaddle. This thing is like a straight jacket. Ironically, it’s the only swaddle without velcro or zippers, but it somehow manages to keep our little wiggle worm snug all night long. It’s the trickiest to get on, but–in our experience–it’s the most effective.

Finn sleeps in one of these swaddles every single night and, if he’s super fussy, during the day, too.

2. Shushing: The inside of a mother’s womb is full of sound. Think about it: the blood is rushing, the stomach is gurgling, the heart is beating. So, despite what we sometimes think, babies actually LIKE noise; it calms them.

There are lots of options for noise: radio static, a hair dryer, a vacuum (Finn slept on my shoulder while I vacuumed the whole house when he just a week old). The one we’ve found most effective is a sound machine. We have them EVERYWHERE. When Finn sleeps in his MamaRoo during the day, we keep the “ocean” noise up as loud as it will go. At night, we have the “rain” setting on our sound machine up very loud. We even have sound machine apps on our iPhones, and we will play it for him if he gets a little cranky while we are out.

Dr. Karp also advocates for very loud “shussssssssh”ing in the baby’s ear. We were already doing this with Finn, but we weren’t doing it loudly enough. Karp says that you should “shush” as loud as the baby is crying; if he gets louder, you get louder. We’ve been trying this, and it seems to work really well. I get right up in Finn’s ear and “shusssssssssh” louder than you’d think I should. It usually calms him.

3. Sucking: Finn loves being on the boob, and he often falls asleep after breastfeeding. Sucking settles babies. So, if your boob isn’t handy, you can also try a finger or a pacifier (neither of those really work for our boob-obsessed guy).

4. Side or Stomach Position: We all know that our babies should sleep on their backs; that’s the safest position. Yet, when they have their cranky pants on, it can help to put them on their sides or on their backs. This really helps Finn when he is gassy; he LOVES having the pressure on his tummy.

After watching Karp’s DVD, and learning that swaddling should always come first, we’ve also realized that Finn likes being on his side most if he’s swaddled. It’s easier for us to hold him that way, too, because he’s like a little package. When his legs and arms are dangling, it’s too distracting (and distressing) for him and for us.

5. Swinging: I’ve intentionally saved the best for last. Swinging–or rocking–babies is nothing new, but what Dr. Karp does is different. He does the “jiggle.” And, let me just tell you, The jiggle has become a life-saver in our house! “Just jiggle him!” is now our favorite phrase.

Karp’s jiggle allows the baby’s head to wiggle back and forth in a motion that, frankly, would probably freak most parents out had a renowned pediatrician not shown them how to do it.

He does it while the baby is in his lap, swaddled, and he does it with the baby in the football hold, swaddled. Jiggling Finn while he’s swaddled and in the football hold has worked best for us. I face him towards me, hold him around his waist, allowing his feet to go behind me, and put his head in my open palm. Then, I just wiggle him. Since his body is swaddled, his head jiggles pretty easily. This usually really calms him down if he’s fussy, and it puts him to sleep at night. The first night we tried it, in fact, was the easiest night of sleeping in his short, 3-week life.

This YouTuber demonstrates the jiggle (and all of the other steps) pretty well at around the 2:00 mark.

Another thing Karp does on the DVD is vigorously shake the baby in the swing. Like most moms, we have been gently swinging or bouncing Finn. Now, when we are trying to get him to sleep in his Rock N Play at night, I shake it pretty vigorously, too. It’s more of a 7.0 earthquake than a soft rocking. And guess what? He loves it!

Of course, these things don’t work all of the time, and you are likely to find a screaming baby in our house any day of the week. But, when he IS screaming, it’s really comforting for us to know that there are reliable ways to intervene.