Sona still has lots of CD compilations that I burned for her when we were dating. Oh, you youngins don’t remember mixtapes, but they were a thing. Just trust me.
Listening to those songs, even still, make me think of what it was like to be young and silly and stupid and oh-so-smitten. They were our songs, and they will always make me think of her.
I’m starting to collect songs for Finn now, too. I mean, look at this heartthrob. Who wouldn’t make mixtapes for this kid?
This has happened pretty organically. At least, I haven’t consciously tried to find songs that remind me of him. Still, already, there are a few that I associate with him–all for different reasons.
The first song is Matt Kearney’s Closer to Love.
When Sona and I first thought seriously about having a baby, we were pretty sure we wanted to adopt. I’ve talked about that before.
At that time, we were looking into working with The Cradle–an amazing adoption agency in Evanston, IL. We followed them on Facebook, stalked their website, and read through their forums. Through that, we found a video that a family had made, documenting the first time they met their son at The Cradle. This song played in the background. Sona and I watched it over and over, crying each time. This song became our we-are-going-to-find-our-baby-somehow anthem. And even though, ultimately, we chose a different path, I still hear this song and think about how much we worked to get our Finn. (Also, if I’m being honest, I still very much feel like Sona and I are meant to adopt. One day. In my heart, I know it will happen.)
And, because it’s too good not to share, here’s the adoption story. I dare you to watch it without choking up.
The next song is Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey. Don’t judge me.
Don’t worry. This has nothing to do with KimYe’s ridonkulous proposal.
When Sona was pregnant, she often listened to the LDR Pandora station during her commute to and from work. She swears that, whenever a LDR song came on, Finn would start moving around. It became our inside joke: “Finn loves Lana Del Rey.” And he did seem to respond to hearing her music.
So, when he was only a couple weeks old, I started singing this song to him when I was trying to get him to go to sleep. I didn’t really know all the lyrics–and still don’t–but I would hold his tiny little ear up to my mouth, swaying back in forth in our dark bedroom, and I would clumsily sing, “Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will. I know that you will.” He always fell asleep, and, well, it became our thing.
The last song I heard by accident. I saw a little boy dancing to it on a segment of a talk show, and I immediately Googled the lyrics, trying to find it.
It is Sleeping at Last by Light.
Honestly, I can’t think of any song that better embodies what it is like to have a new baby. I can’t even listen to this song without completely falling apart, melting into the most sappy, sentimental puddle of overwhelming love for Finn.
Even now, as I’m writing this post, watching Finn nap on the monitor and listening to this song in the background, I’m crying like a–wait for it–baby. SO MANY FEELS.
But really, it’s just perfect. I’ve deliberately shared the video that includes the lyrics. Because, WOAH.
I can’t wait to keep collecting songs–and memories–as Finn grows up. There will be so many, I know, but I’ll always come back to these three. They are what the most special time in our lives sounded like, and if I could spend hours on my bedroom floor, copying them onto a black cassette tape and writing “Finn + Danielle + Sona 4EVA! <3 <3 <3” on the label (with hot pink pens that smell like strawberries, of course), I totally would.