“Do you have any tips for traveling with small kids?” is probably the question I get asked the most, both on social media and in real life. It’s not that Sona and I are the most well-traveled folks around; it’s just that there aren’t that many families who venture out–especially internationally–with small kiddos. That trend is changing, though, slowly, and that’s thanks to a lot of Insta-famous globe-trotting families.

I’ve joked a lot about how naive Sona and I were pre-kids, promising each other that we wouldn’t let our babies derail our lifestyles–that we’d just strap them on us and bring them along to hip restaurants, long city walks, and international adventures. We had no idea what kind of shit-storm we were heading into, of course, but actually, I think we’ve stayed fairly true to that promise.

As much as we can, we still do the things that make us us, even with a baby and toddler in tow. Of course, we don’t do those things as frequently (hello, expensive daycare costs), as spontaneously, or without a fair share of anticipated stress, but we still do them. And that’s what matters.

I’m no expert when it comes to traveling with kids. Like anyone, even our best laid toddler-baby-travel plans often go up in smoke, but I have learned some tips and tricks along the way. And, since I think it’s so important to keep doing the things that make you you, even with little ones, I thought I’d share.

Here are our tried and true tips for traveling with small kids:

1. Don’t follow any ubiquitous travel-planning advice. You know your kids better than anyone. Follow their lead. For us, that means that, unlike a lot of parents, we try to avoid red eye flights. Early mornings, allowing us to travel 5-7 hours and still get to our destination in time for an afternoon naps, works best for us. Finn is a great sleeper–when he’s in his crib. He’s never been keen on sleeping anywhere else, including planes. So, we try to avoid all-night flights, as we know he will likely resist sleep with every ounce of his little willful power, and we will all be miserable as a result.
2. When traveling with an infant, book bulkhead seats and request a bassinet. I feel like this is just one of those tips that most people don’t know about unless another parent tells them. When we flew to Portugal when Elias was 8 weeks old, the bassinet was a life-saver. It hooked to the wall right in front of our seats, and he slept in there most of the flight. (Finn, on the other hand, didn’t sleep at all. See tip #1.) Not all airlines have bassinets, and most don’t let you reserve them ahead of time, but if you get to the airport early enough, scoring one shouldn’t be a problem.
3. If you can afford it, get the kid their own seat. Yes, having a little one who can travel free-of-charge until they are one years old is a perk, but how much is that perk worth to you? Your sanity? For us, we prefer for our kiddos to have their own seats once they are one. Babies an be easy to hold, pass around, plop in a bassinet, but a wiggly one year old is a whole other story. If it’s affordable, it’s always worth the extra space.
4. Pack extra carry-on clothes for everyone. Plus some. Every single time we’ve ever traveled, someone has needed an outfit change: spills, blow-outs, dirty airport floors. There are myriad reasons why you’ll need extra clothes. We also learned early-on that parents will need extra clothes, too. Trust us, we know from experience that you don’t want to spend 5 hours on an airplane wearing a puke-stained t-shirt.
5. Expect that your luggage will, at some point, get lost, and have everything you’d need to survive for 24 hours in a carry-on: extra outfits, swimsuits for warm-weather destinations, formula, diapers, wipes, lovies, blankets for bedtime, etc. The only thing more stressful than traveling with kids is traveling with kids and not having your kid’s survival kit handy.
6. Ditch the carseat, stroller, and any other big, heavy baby stuff. This is going to be controversial, I know. But honestly, for us, we had to simplify our must-take list. Even without these big ticket items, Sona and I often struggle to carry our luggage and our boys at the same time. There are NO free hands. We rent carseats wherever we go, understanding that it’s a slight risk. We also forgo carseats on airplanes, as our kids hate them anyway. If we are going to a place with a beach, we know we likely won’t use a stroller. So, we opt for baby-wearing. In fact, we almost always opt for baby-wearing whenever possible. If you want to travel regularly with small kids, you will have to make some sacrifices. You’ll have to do some cost-benefits analysis. For us, renting whatever we need (cribs, carseats, etc.) at our destination saves us a lot of stress and headaches.
7. Stay somewhere with a washer and dryer, and only take half as many clothes. Man, our lives changed when we started doing this. If we are going somewhere for 8 days, we take 4 days worth of clothes and wash mid-way through the week. Think about it: that cuts down on HALF of the clothes you have to take, and it just simplifies packing, too.
8. Pack an on-the-plane survival kit appropriate to the length of your flight. Whenever we travel, we take a bookbag packed with favorite snacks, small activities (coloring books, stickers, playdoh, window clings, etc.), and new toys. I usually keep a stockpile of stuff in our closet and add to it whenever I see something the boys would like: little action figures, cars, construction trucks, etc. The Dollar Store is a great source for these sorts of goodies! Generally, I plan for one toy or treat for every 20-30 minutes, just in case the plane ride is rough. If you want, you can wrap these treats and call them “plane presents,” which the kids really like. Of course, I never pull out a plane present unless I need one. So, some plane rides require two presents and some require five. It just depends on everyone’s mood. I also try to make sure that the toys are things they can use at our destination, as we usually don’t pack other toys for them. So, I’ll get water-friendly toys for the beach, for example. Those will be the things the kiddos play with while we are out of town.
9. Save a favorite treat for after landing. For me, the most stressful part of a long travel day is when we’ve landed and have to patiently stand in a customs line or wait for luggage. By that point, everyone is tired and hungry and cranky–and TOTALLY out of patience. So, I’ve found that having a favorite goodie (for Finn, that’s a Kinder egg), helps us get through those long waits.
10. Build excitement for the trip by talking about it a lot beforehand. This is something we’ve just started doing in the past year or so, now that Finn is older. For the month or so before we travel somewhere new, we show him videos, read books, and talk a lot about where we are going. That way, by departure day, he’s super excited and doesn’t feel like he doesn’t know what he’s getting into.
11. Stick to sleep schedules as much as possible. You know, kids crave routine, especially when it comes to sleep. When we travel, it’s really easy to get off that routine. We do often let the kids stay up a little later or occasionally skip naps, but as much as possible, we try to keep sleep consistent.
12. Buy it there. We are just coming around to this one, as it can be anxiety-inducing to head to a foreign place without knowing whether they will have diapers that fit your baby’s chunky thighs. When we first traveled with the kids, we’d take suitcases full of diapers and wipes and formula and baby-friendly snacks. More and more, we are recognizing that EVERYWHERE–even small, nearly uninhabited islands–sells baby stuff. You know why? Because babies are born EVERYWHERE. 😉
13. Rent a home rather than stay in a hotel. We started doing this even before having kids, as there are SO many advantages to having a home. You get to live like a local. You get more space. You get a kitchen. You get advice from a local/the owner. It’s considerably cheaper. With kids, that list goes on. Everyone can have their own room, just like at home. There are kid-friendly AirBnBs with toys and cribs and baby-proofed spaces. You don’t have to stress about disrupting the peace and quiet of everyone else at the hotel. MORE SPACE for all of the kid crap you’ll inevitably have.
14. Tell yourself that travel days are going to suck. Sometimes, they don’t, but most of the time, they really do. Travel days often suck when it’s just Sona and I, too. If you don’t expect it to be easy, you won’t be surprised when it is hard. We’ve had some AWFUL travel days, but we’ve never felt like the trip itself wasn’t worth it.
15. Have reasonable expectations. This is the biggie, and it doesn’t happen in the first trip–or even the first few. I’ll be honest: traveling with the kids is NOTHING like when Sona and I get to travel alone. It’s less relaxing, more exhausting, and requires a lot more work. When we go into a vacation thinking, “We are going to do Portugal the way we would do Portugal by ourselves,” we are just setting ourselves up for failure. Instead, we now think, “We are going to live our everyday lives with kids, just in a different location.” In other words, expect that you will have to do and deal with everything you do and deal with at home–just somewhere prettier and maybe warmer! Have one goal a day: a place you want to see, an excursion you want to try, a restaurant to eat at. Do not over-plan; do not set-up some elaborate itinerary. You’ll just be stressed out and disappointed when you can’t stick to it. When everyone said we were crazy for taking a newborn to Portugal, we would say, “Well, we can be tired in Chicago or we can be tired on the beach in Portugal,” and we were both very glad we chose the latter.
16. Just go. I promise you won’t regret it. Almost every single one of my most-cherished memories, both as a couple and a family, are from our travels. Pushing your kids to see new places, experience new cultures, and eat new food will make them better, more curious and well-rounded people. Getting away from the responsibilities of home will allow you to hyper-focus on your family and to be present, something that’s so much harder to do when we are caught up in the rat race of our normal lives, unfortunately. Yes, your kid could get sick from something they eat. Yes, they will be tired and cranky at times. Yes, you’ll have to fumble a bit in order to find your stride. But guess what? That’s true of staying put, too–only you miss out on the adventure.