Finn,

Today, you turned 5! Five feels like the real beginning of growing up which, of course, I hate. But watching you grow up has been the best part of my life. And so, I’m willing to accept that it must go on.

We are in the middle of a pandemic–something I hope we can all one day talk about as having been a strange, but relatively short-lived, part of our history. So, we couldn’t celebrate this milestone birthday in the way I would’ve have wanted, but you didn’t seem to mind much.

This past Friday, we took you to your first water park to celebrate. We know that solo days with me and Mommy are few and far between, and we wanted to give you our undivided attention for as long as we could. We also wanted to see you swim, something you are well on you way to being able to do, thanks to Coach MG, who you started training with this year!

True to form, you were scared of pretty much every feature of the park, but when I told you I really, really wanted all of us to go down the big family slide together, you committed to going up. You acted silly all the way to the very top, which was quite high. I knew your silliness was a way of trying to cover up the anxiety you were feeling and, sure enough, your mask slipped the second we stepped foot into the raft. We quite literally had to hold you down, screaming, while telling the lifeguard to push.

He did. You froze. I’m pretty sure none of us will ever forget that ride.

We have to push you to be the brave boy we know you can be a lot, but you also push us right back in the most incredible ways. You push me to be present when you tell me to get off of my phone. You push Mommy to let go of housework when you tell her “Come here and see this!” You push all of us to be more silly, more full of life, and more centered on our family.

When we ask you what you want to do with a free weekend, your answer is always “be together.”

You, my little nervous boy, are also the kindest, most empathetic, and most wonderfully sensitive soul. You are thoughtful about others in ways that astound me. Everyone who really knows you sees these things in you, too.

Today, we decked the house out in every Super Mario Bros. decoration we could find, determined to make this birthday special. Mario is a newfound obsession, along with Sonic, the Ninja Turtles, and anything having to do with space.

You are currently sleeping under a string of solar system lights, which was one of your birthday gifts. You asked, “Why does only Saturn have rings?” Because you are smart enough to know that other planets actually have rings, too.

You are so smart. You have the most incredible memory, and can easily remember things from when you were 2 or 3 in unbelievable detail. You have an addiction to stuffed animals, or “stuffies”, as you call them, and I have to sneak and purge them while you’re at school, else your room would be over-run. You are an expert scooter-er, like to show us how fast you can run (FAST), and seem to pick up pretty much every athletic skill with ease. You insist on hugging your brother every morning at school drop-off, even though he couldn’t care less. You pretty much only eat fruit, vegetables, and snacks. You have started showering by yourself (much to my dismay). You are an avid rule-follower, quick to point out when we are doing something wrong. And you’ll do pretty much anything for the promise of a video game night with Mommy and I.

There’s no one in the world I’d rather spend a day with than you, Finn. Your brother may be the little light of our family, but you are our heart.

We love you endlessly. I can’t wait to see what your 5th year brings!

Happy birthday!