Summer 2017 Family Photos

9 / 22 / 179 / 22 / 17

A couple of weeks ago, we had family photos taken by the uber talented Ashley Summers of Ashley Summers Photography. We are probably the world’s worst photography clients because: 1. Sona hates photos; 2. Finn is a typical toddler; and 3. I am a photographer, myself.

Shooting a photographer’s photos? Yeah, good luck with that.

But Ashley was so great, and we got so many pictures that I know we will love forever. She worked her butt off to get them for us, too, entertaining Finn endlessly, offering him little bribes, and making sure that he played along.

Clearly, photos are super important to me. And, as the photog in the fam, I’m rarely in them. So, getting some good family photos done once or twice a year is something I prioritize (and stress about).

Here are some of our favorites from the shoot.

Finn’s face here is like, “I’m not so sure about this.”

A photo of me and my son = priceless.

I can’t handle his cuteness.

Good gosh, OUR SON IS BEAUTIFUL.

Getting some photos of Sona and I is a bonus. We don’t have many of those, either!

By the time we were taking these, Finn was OVA IT. I mean, he was having a total fit. So, we figured we’d make the best of it and just do photos of Sona and I by ourselves. Of course, as soon as we started, Finn ran up to us and was whimpering. That’s what we see out of the corner of our eyes, here. A bag of Twizzlers dumped all over the ground. The book bag emptied. And Finn begging for attention. #momlife

I’d wanted to do more photos in the water, but the weather didn’t really cooperate. (Thanks, Chicago.) Still, I’m glad we got one with the lake and the city we love so much.

(Almost) 365 Days of DSLR Photos :: Project Complete!

9 / 14 / 17

A little over a year ago (or a little more than that, if I’m being honest), I set myself a goal: I was going to take a “good” photo of Finn, using my DSLR camera, every single day for a year. Even as a pro photog, I found myself relying mostly on my iPhone for photos of our little life, and I knew that, one day, I’d regret not having higher-quality captures of our memories.

Here’s the first shot:

And the last:

KILL ME NOW.

Here were my original “rules” for the project:

Don’t be a perfectionist. Every single photo isn’t going to be a masterpiece. Yes, I do covet all of those photo-perfect, carefully-curated social media feeds I follow. BUT THOSE MOMS MANAGE THOSE ACCOUNTS LIKE IT’S THEIR JOB. In fact, it is their job. And I already have one. So, I don’t want to get bogged down in my own perfectionism. This is about capturing Finn’s life–not about creating magazine-ready photos that are the envy of every Instagram mom out there. (Sidenote: I had to talk myself out of re-shooting today’s photo. This one may be tricky for me.)
Let Sona take the photo, sometimes. One of my goals for this project is to capture our lives as a family, and I am part of that family. I’m always behind the camera. We have tons of photos of Sona and Finn together but very few with him and I. I hope to get some keepers over the next year.
Accept the photographic realities/limitations of our lives. We live in a garden apartment, currently, and we get about 27 minutes of good photographic light a day. That’s just the reality. The lighting conditions in our home SUCK. (Loads of natural light is one of my must-haves as we search for a place to buy, btw.) We also sometimes have a messy house. And our cats have ripped our couch to shreds. And, sometimes, there will be piles of unemptied grocery bags in the background. That’s okay. Again, it’s not about perfection; it’s about reality.
Don’t stage photos. Don’t prop Finn up like a doll, teasing him into the perfect, cherubic pose. Those photos can happen, too, but they just aren’t part of this project. My goal is to capture candids–and not staged moments.
Aim for variety. Shoot during all times of the day. Capture the morning. Capture bath time. Capture tantrums. Capture everything, especially the stuff I wouldn’t capture, normally.
Take my camera out of the house. It’s currently 15 degrees in Chicago, and I don’t see myself taking many outdoor photos in the very near future, but I do hope to, eventually. As we get out and about, I want the photos to reflect that.
Don’t let this challenge stress me out. This is supposed to be fun; it’s not supposed to feel like another burdensome responsibility. Keep things in perspective.

Well, today, I posted the last photo on Instagram, and it is more than a little bittersweet. I mean, I’m not so sad that the project is over because, well, it sometimes felt cumbersome. But when I look back at this year+ of photos, seeing how much Finn has changed and how many tiny, magical moments we’ve shared with him is enough to knock me flat.

And here’s the truth: 90% of these moments would likely have been forgotten had I not made the conscious decision to capture them through this project.

(Side note: As I was working on this post, a BOLOGNA commercial came on with a your-kids-grow-up-too-quickly theme, and I started sobbing.)

I learned a lot from this little photo project. I learned that sometimes I should be the momma who is a photographer and not the photographer who is a momma. That is, my primary goal for photographing our lives should be to preserve memories–not to take editorial-quality images like I try to create for my clients. I learned that I need to get in front of the camera more often. Finn will look back at these photos one day, and I want him to know I was there with him–not just behind the lens. I learned that small, quiet moments are just as special as exotic vacations and special outings. I learned that I want to remember the tantrums and bad days and midnight popsicles in bed when we all have a stomach virus just as much as all of the good stuff. I learned that Finn has a million different expressions–ones that most people wouldn’t notice–but ones that Sona and I hope to never forget. I learned that having my DSLR camera out and accessible means that I’m much more likely to reach for it. I learned that it is ALWAYS worth it to lug the big, heavy camera around–to the beach, to the park, to the bathroom during potty breaks.

I don’t know that I’ll repeat this same project any time soon, but I can tell you that in the month or so since it has ended, I’ve hardly taken any photos of Finn that aren’t on my iPhone. So, I’m going to have to continue to challenge myself to preserve memories in a valuable way. Because, if I’m being honest, the only thing I do regret is not taking even more photos.

These photos have seen the purchase of our first home. Crawling and then stumbling and then walking. Turning one and turning two. A very bumpy first year full of ear infections and teething and tired mommas. Four countries. A first trick-or-treating adventure. A magical Christmas. Swimming. Running. Being naughty. A gazillion parks. Lots of eating. A little bit of crying. So many giggles. And all of Finn’s favorite people.

Let’s take a look back:

Finn Turned 2!

8 / 27 / 17

Before August ends, I figured I better get some memories of Finn’s second birthday up on this here blog!

Finn has been TWO years old for 17 days, and I still can’t get over it. In fact, as I sat down to write this post, I made the mistake of looking up last year’s birthday post. And, well, there went 20 minutes down the sobbing, my-son-is-growing-up-way-too-quickly rabbit hole.

Let’s just take a second to remember one year old Finn, shall we?

And two year old Finn? Well, we still love him.

Like last year, we decided to forgo a birthday party. Instead, we opted for a lot of quality family time and a weekend full of Finn’s favorite things: pizza, Mimi & Pops, swimming, lots of park time, waffles, trains… you get the idea. Though I had a little guilt about not throwing him some hopping shindig, I know that he doesn’t really care about a party at his age, and the family time we enjoy on his birthday is much more special when no one is stressing about decorating or hosting or any of the other stuff that comes with having a party.

Finn woke up to his favorite breakfast: waffles! And, of course, he got sprinkles on his waffles. Because BIRTHDAY!

After breakfast, we decided to take him to a new playroom in the city.

He took a particular interest in the train table, which made me SO excited to give him his later on in the day.

Like last time, we decided to do gifts after nap time. We did this for a few reasons: 1. We knew that, once he saw his toys, he’d want to stay in for the whole day and play, and we wanted to get out in the morning. 2. It gave us a chance to set things up during nap. 3. Sona actually had to work, as Finn’s bday fell on a Thursday this year, and we couldn’t possibly open presents without both mommies around.

When Finn woke up from his nap, he came downstairs to this scene!

He made out like a bandit, even though we tried not to over-do it. He got a balance bike, a ton of Cars color changes (which he LOVES), some John Deere stuff (since he thinks he’s a country boy), and a new train table, which Momma made for him! (He also got some gift cards and shopping money from friends and family. Again, SPOILED!)

I’ve had lots of questions about his train table already. So, later this week, I’m going to do a quick post explaining how I made it.

Needless to say, he was pretty excited.

Of course, he went for the balloons first.

He played with his new goodies for a bit, and then we had homemade pizza. Even though I’d had surgery just two days prior and wasn’t 100%, I was set on making him a homemade meal that I know he loved.

But the pièce de résistance was the cake, which had his favorite thing in the whole world on it: a tractor!

A John Deere tractor cake? SO not my thing. But it’s Finn’s birthday, and it was a total hit.

Later on in the weekend, we continued the celebration at a nearby water park. Finn has been swimming-obsessed since we got back from vacation, and we knew it’d be a great way for the family to make some memories and for Finn to do what he loves best.

(In all realness: we actually spent all morning Saturday, getting hyped up and prepping for a Lake Michigan beach day. We packed lunches, loaded up on beach toys, walked the 15 minute walk there, only to find that the waves were outrageous and the beach was closed for swimming. By that time, it was really too late to re-group, as Finn’s nap time was approaching. Momma had a little (or a big) cry about it, but we made up for it by doing the water park on Sunday.)

I really can’t believe that Finn is already two years old. How many times can a parent say “time goes so quickly!” But, you guys, IT DOES.

Our little 2 year old is a riot. He’s smart and sweet and ridiculously energetic. He can say his ABCs and sings a million different songs. He knows his colors (but always confuses yellow, for some reason). He still sleeps like a champ, mostly. His appetite ebbs and flows; he frequently boycotts dinner. When he does eat, Mexican, Italian, and Indian foods are his favorite. He talks A LOT. His favorite place in the whole world is our bed. His iPad obsession is still alive and kicking. He is very kind to other kids and has the biggest heart. And he NEVER stops moving.

I love him to pieces, y’all, and I’m excited to have had him around for two years of our lives.

Trip Report :: Grand Cayman

8 / 9 / 178 / 9 / 17

We just got back from a week-long vacay on Grand Cayman–the three of us and my dad. It’s not a secret that Sona and I are huge Caribbean fans. It’s our happy place. I’m actually pushing Sona to move there in the next couple of years, but that’s another story.

Grand Cayman was my and Sona’s 9th Caribbean island and Finn’s 3rd. We’ve been putting it off for a few years because, to be honest, it’s not really our usual Carib spot. It’s significantly more developed and more commercialized than the islands we usually gravitate towards, but that also makes it an easier–and somewhat safer–bet with a toddler. So, we pulled the trigger.

We stayed in a condo right on Seven Mile Beach, which is right in the center of the action. It had a HUGE balcony, which was really the selling feature. We all loved hanging out on the balcony, having breakfast or dinner, watching the sunset, and enjoying the spectacular view. Finn especially loved it out there. He would lay on the lounge chairs in the evening and shout, “the moon is on!”

This vacay was also a little different for us because we spent a lot of time just enjoying the pool and the beach on our property. When Sona and I travel alone, we do a lot of exploring, looking for secret beaches, driving all around islands in search of seafood shacks or great views. With Finn, though, sometimes easier is better. And even though we did do a little exploring with him, we also dialed that back a bit, opting instead for low-key days filled with lots of sand castles, swimming, and naps. Both Sona and I remarked that, though our week-long beach trips usually fly by, last week actually felt full and slow–in the best kind of way. I think we owe that to Finn, as he forced us to slow things down, and that also allowed for more quality family time and more relaxation, both things we really, really needed.

Our typical day in GC went something like this: wake up, have a lazy breakfast on the balcony, go down to the beach, play in the sand and swim for a few hours, grab some lunch, take a long afternoon nap (which we all did every single day), get up, go back to the beach or the pool, swim until sunset, eat a late dinner, and hit the sack–exhausted but happy.

We did squeeze in a little adventure amidst all that beach lazing, though. We did a half-day boat tour, which included a trip to Stingray City and a snorkeling stop. It was the thing I was most nervous about, as we’d be stuck on a boat for several hours, and if Finn got cranky or tired or freaked out, there wouldn’t be much we could do about it. However, he really surprised us–as he did several times on this trip–and he did so well! He danced to the music on board, he swam with sting rays, he played all over the boat, and he held up like a champ, despite having been up since 4AM that morning with teething pain.

I also have to give Finn a huge shout-out for how well he did in the water! This kid went from never having worn floaties before we got to Grand Cayman to refusing to let us even touch him when he was in the pool or the ocean. He started full-on swimming by himself, and he would go and go and go–just like the little Energizer Bunny that he is. I couldn’t have been more proud of how brave he was.

Our nighttime swims were one of my favorite parts of the trip. We always had the pool to ourselves, and Finn would jump and run and splash until far past his usual bedtime. “More swim,” he would say. And then, when he got tired, he’d climb up the stairs, turn and look at us over his shoulder, and pronounce “all done.”

All in all, it was another great vacation, and Sona and I both left feeling so much more confident in our ability to globe-trot with our little tyke. From the long travel days to the extended periods in the hot sun, Finn weathered everything like a pro traveler, and so many of our anxieties were eased. He did 100x better than we expected–and on every front. Since we’ve been home, Sona swears that Finn has matured. “He changed on this trip,” she’s said a couple of times. And I think maybe he did a little bit. But really, I think that the uninterrupted quality time as a family–and the sand! and the sea!–did us all a world of good and it has given us, at least for a short while, a fresh perspective on this whole raising-a-toddler thing.

(Also, I finally got a fat-kini, and I ain’t ever going back to one piece swimwear again.)

Our Grand Cayman Faves and Recommendations:

our condo, #30 at South Bay Beach Club
eat the lionfish sandwich and the homemade ice cream sandwiches at Macabuca
spend a day or two at Smith’s Cove–take a snorkel and mask!
get gelato at Gelato & Co.
spend an evening exploring Camana Bay, eating at Brooklyn
shop at Kirk’s market, stocking up on imported chocolate
do the Breakfast with Rays excursion with Red Sail
snorkel the man-made reef in front of the Marriott
have a romantic dinner at Grand Old House, request to sit right on the water
get the pina coladas and fish tacos at Veranda beach bar–both the best I’ve ever had!
eat some Asian/Caribbean chow at Hemingway’s

Summer Bucketlist–Update!

7 / 24 / 177 / 24 / 17

In early June, I posted our summer bucketlist, which catalogued the stuff we wanted to do this summer–both fun and the not-so-fun.

Now that our summer is just a month or so from ending, I thought I’d check in with some updates and see how the list is faring.

Let’s take stock of the summer of 2017, thus far, starting with the fun.

Spend several days at the beach

Oh, man. We’ve been pretty bad about beach days, thus far. Weekends are so jam-packed that, when we have a day together as a family, we often have too much on the agenda to visit the beach. Plus, it’s been a super rainy summer, and that’s drenched our plans a bit. (See what I did, there?)

~~Hit up a new Caribbean island~~

We leave for Grand Cayman on Sunday. So, stay tuned!

~~Have a no-cook charcuterie/tapas-style dinner on the porch at least once a week<~~/li>

Check out this charcuterie. Ain’t she a beaut?! We’ve done some no-cook dinners, but more are on the agenda, for sure.

Have a swanky rooftop cocktail date downtown with my gal

Nope, not yet.

~~Visit a farmer’s market at least once a week~~

We’ve done the farmer’s market a lot, this summer. Sometimes, we’ve gone TWICE a week!

Catch up on our vacation photo books (Alaska/Cannon Beach, Belize, San Juan/Nevis/Anguilla, Virgin Gorda, Italy)

I have a feel that this one isn’t going to happen. Winter project, maybe?

~~Take Finn to the Thomas the Train show~~

Done! Despite the long drive and a tot who woke up earlier than expected, meaning it was nearly nap time when we arrived, we had a really good morning at the Thomas the Train event, which took place at the Illinois Railway Museum. He did great, and he was SO excited by all of the trains.

He would not, however, tolerate facing AWAY from Thomas long enough for a photo. Can you see the “c’mon, can we just get this photo thing over with” look on both of their faces?

Kissing ALL the Thomases.

And we did the train ride, too! (Which, honestly, he was maybe a little too young to enjoy, but it was still worth it.)

V~~isit my hometown in Tennessee for the first time since Finn was born (and eat lots of Mexican food while there)~~

Check! We went to TN the week of July 4th, showing Finn our home states (Kentucky and Tennessee) for the first time. And there was LOTS of Mexican food had.

Finn LOVED being a country boy for a few days, and he especially loved riding the lawn mower (which he thinks is a tractor) with Pops!

We enjoyed spending time with our family, including Finn’s favorite cousin: Max!

We also celebrated Sona’s 36th bday while we were there!

And we spent little time in the pool.

Go berry picking with Finn

The berry picking ship has sailed, no? Maybe we can pick peaches?

~~Binge watch OITNB~~

The first thing we checked off!

~~Get family photos taken~~

Scheduled for Friday!

~~Finally get back to blogging before/after photos of our house~~

I blogged the before/after photos of our master bedroom and bath. Didya see?

Finally get back to blogging regularly, in general

The jury is still out.

Celebrate Finn’s 2nd birthday with a casual beach party

Yet to come…

~~Plant an herb garden–and keep it alive~~

Yes! I have basil, mint, rosemary, thyme, oregano, and parsley. All are totally lush! But the dill? Not so much.

Finally visit one of the surrounding state fairs

Fingers crossed!

~~Eat watermelon, corn, peaches, and tomatoes until we explode~~

Ohmygosh, YAAAASSSSS! In fact, we are having corn and tomatoes for dinner again, tonight.

Get my hands on a pair of those freaking copper-colored Birkenstocks that I’ve been stalking since February (No, really, I know this one is stupid, but I have wide feet and it’s hard to find cute shoes, and I’ve literally checked for these EVERY SINGLE DAY for months)

I think I should just give up on this one. (Sob.)

The Not-So-Fun:

~~Finish Kellogg practicum project~~

50 pages? Sent!

~~Clean out Finn’s closet and list a ton of clothes in his Kidizen shop~~

I’ve listed–and sold–dozens of items, already! Not on Kidizen? Use my code–khc5i–for a $5 credit upon signing up!

Clean out my closet and do the same

Maybe this week?

Go through the house and clean up/touch up paint, which we’ve been meaning to do since we moved in

Nope.

~~Pack up some of Finn’s baby toys 🙁 and organize what is left~~

Yes! We’ve gone from a living room that was being overtaken by toys to just a couple of baskets. I also cleaned out his closet, allowing us to put all of his larger cars (he has like 15) on the floor of the closet, rather than the floor of our living room.

~~Have all of our windows professionally cleaned–they are GROSS~~

Done! And what a difference it makes!

~~Get back into a steady workout routine~~

I’ve been going to the gym 4 days a week for about a month, now. I’m going to have to find a new routine once school starts back, but I’m happy with my progress, for now.

~~Have a pretty standard out-patient surgery that I’ve been putting off because it means I won’t be able to pick Finn up for two weeks~~

Scheduled for early August.

G~~et started on the two book projects I’ve been delaying, which are due relatively soon~~

I’ve already had a couple of meetings with my co-author, and we’ve made some good progress!

Begin visiting possible preschools and (hopefully) get on a waitlist

I emailed a few. Does that count?

~~Sign-up for and start swim lessons with Finn~~

We have his 4th lesson tonight, actually! He goes to Goldfish Swim School every Tuesday night. After, we have a casual family dinner. It’s been a pretty fun new routine.

Potty-train (KILL ME NOW)

Still in denial.

Trip Report: Washington D.C.

6 / 23 / 17

A few weeks ago, we flew to D.C. for a family wedding. Since I’d never been, we decided to make a week-long trip of it. It was also the first vacation-ish trip that we’ve taken with Finn without our parents tagging along for support. (We took him to Virgin Gorda, last year, but the rents were there to help.)

It was also the first time that he’s been on an airplane since he was 7 months old, as last year’s big move prevented a lot of traveling aside from Italy, which Sona and I did by ourselves.

I was a little nervous about it. As I’ve mentioned before, Finn is the world’s most energetic child. He moves CONSTANTLY. Like, he really never, ever sits still. Also, three days before we left, he was diagnosed with a double ear infection.

The plane ride to D.C. was a bit of a challenge. He did okay, but we had to wrestle him into his seat more than a dozen times, and he totally lost his shit at baggage claim in D.C. It was past nap-time, he needed desperately to get out some energy, and we were asking him to sit still and wait. On the way back, though, he was a perfect angel. So, I think some ear discomfort might have contributed to his behavior on the first flight. Or not. You never really know. Complete 180s are a pretty common occurrences with toddlers, and I always prep myself for the fact that it could go either way.

Either way, we had a good time in D.C., after we got past the first day or so of general out-of-sortedness. We rented an AirBnB in a great neighborhood, which was within walking distance of the main highlights, but we didn’t realize that the bedroom didn’t have a door. So, Finn slept in a pack-n-play in the living room and had a clear view of our bedroom. It wasn’t ideal, and it interfered with sleeping just a bit. He took forever to go down for naps, which is super unusual, and we had to hide out in the bedroom the entire time he slept. (It was WAY too bright in the bedroom for naps.) As a result, he was a little bit of a crank that first 24-36 hours.

Sona and I also had a few “Oh, so this is what traveling with kids is going to be like” moments. We needed to adjust our expectations quite a bit, as we are so accustomed to globe-trotting on our own, but once we did, everything was a lot better.

Things really improved once: 1. We recognized that Finn should lead the way, most of the time. 2. We gave up on walking miles and miles in the heat and Ubered to a lot of places, allowing more time to explore and less time spent in transit. 3. We honored nap time. 4. We gave up on trying to do a lot of indoor dining with Finn, opting for picnics and outdoor options, instead. 5. We let him walk/run more than he was in the stroller. 6. We found a playground and a splash-pad near our apartment, which gave Finn a sense of normalcy, as we do those things at home a lot. 7. We had a babysitter come after he went to bed in the evenings, giving Sona and I a chance to have adult time and explore some of the good eats D.C. has to offer.

All in all, it ended up being a really great little trip, and I’m glad we worked out the kinks of traveling with a toddler before we take a bigger trip later this year.

Here are a ton of pics:

We were super ambitious and walked to the White House pretty much as soon as we got off the plane.

We were kind of surprised that, despite a lot of greenspace, D.C. didn’t actually have a lot of parks or playgrounds that were for little kids. In Chicago, we are spoiled by a plethora of playgrounds! But we did find Stead Park, which was just a few blocks from our AirBnB, and it was a total hit!

We did the National Mall on our second day.

Finn really enjoyed our picnic by the water, watching the ducks.

The morning ceremony was at a Hindu temple about 30 minutes outside of the city. Finn didn’t do so well there, but he did enjoy the music. (Another lesson: don’t take a toddler to a wedding!)

It was nice to get dressed up–and have my BFF babysit–for the evening wedding ceremony.

The fried chicken, honey butter, hot sauce, and donut sandwich at Astro Donuts is what dreams are made of! We went three times. Don’t judge us!

Someone at the wedding recommended the paddleboats on the Potomac, and it was SO much fun!

We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary with dinner at Le Diplomate. SO yum!

We had a babysitter 4 of the nights we were in town, and it allowed us to enjoy the nightlife a bit.

Our D.C. Faves and Recommendations:

Eat at Astro Donuts–like 10 times, at least
Rent a paddleboat from Tidal Basin
Have pina coladas and empandas at Colada Shop
Have dinner (or brunch) at Le Diplomate–get the gougeres and seafood tower
Get ice cream at Ice Cream Jubilee
Make the most of the toddler-friendly main attractions: White House, National Mall, Smithsonian Natural History Museum
Eat at Compass Rose
Visit Stead Park for the playground and splash pad

10 of Our Dirty Parenting Secrets

5 / 30 / 175 / 30 / 17

[Insert a long and sorrowful explanation for why I haven’t blogged in over two months, here.]

Glad we got that over with. You know what’s a good entry back into the blogging world, especially when you’ve also been writing a 30+ page research project for the past week? A list!

So, here is our list of the dirty little parenting secrets that we don’t really want people to know about because: 1. they are pretty shameful; 2. they may cause people to question our son’s well-being; and 3. they make us seem like the laziest, most ill-equipped parents on the planet.

Still, I know we’re not alone, and I’m all for airing my dirty laundry. Here it goes:

Despite all of the best parenting advice that I’ve read in all of the best parenting books, I regularly bribe Finn to get him to cooperate. For example, at least three times a week, I have to offer him a sucker or a pack of jelly beans just to get coax him out of our bed, away from the iPad, and into the car for daycare drop-off.
Did I mention the iPad? Yeah, our son who lived a relatively screen-free existence for the first 1.5 years of his life has suddenly become OBSESSED with iPad games. I mean, it’s ridiculous. In a matter of days, he went from casually exploring the iPad to waking up and demanding “Pad!” the second we walk into his room. It is literally his first word every single morning. We’ve limited “Pad!” time to just 20 minutes or so after he wakes up, but he asks for it all day. He also knows how to access the app store. God help us.
We said we would never, ever allow devices at the dinner table, and he’s still never had them at home, but we’ve started breaking out the iPhone and letting Finn watch YouTube videos when he gets a bit antsy during restaurant excursions. It’s a slippery slope, I know, and I’m quite sure we’ll soon be those parents whose toddler stares zombie-like at a screen, Mountain Dew dripping down his chin and Cheeto dust coloring his fingertips. But if it affords me the extra 15 minutes to finish a meal in peace, I’m good with that.
Finn LOVES iced tea. And he likes coffee, too. If I make a Starbucks run, I try to get him water or milk or some other age-appropriate drink, but I also absolutely do not have the energy to resist his begging for our caffeinated beverages. You want to stunt your growth, kid? Go freaking wild.
We limit refined sugar during the weekdays. Finn doesn’t really get any “treats,” then, other than fruit or yogurt (oh, and those morning bribes). But on the weekends, all bets are off. It is not unusual for him to have donuts, cookies, and ice cream in the span of 48 hours.
I can’t tell you how many times–in the face of some kind of disgustingly atrocious behavior–I’ve just shrugged and thought, “Oh, well.” Dropped a straw in the dirt and then kept using it? Oh, well. Licked the playground equipment? Oh, well. Ate a fistful of cat hair? You get the idea.
We have not planned out Finn’s educational future. We live in Chicago, and preschool application is some urbanized version of the Hunger Games, but I don’t even know at what age preschool starts. True story. I will look into it, eventually…
While we’re on the subject of complete and utter denial, I have absolutely no intentions to actively try potty training this kid anytime soon. He’ll be two in August. Maybe we will try, then? He definitely has shown some signs of readiness: he asks to use the bathroom at daycare, he alerts the whole world that he has “poop poop” in his diaper, etc. But I have a lot on the agenda for summer, and chasing a bare-assed toddler around the house while he pisses all over our new wood floors is definitely not something I want to add to my list.
He is 22 months, and he still drinks from a bottle before bedtime. Nuff said.
I’m pretty sure we’ve brainwashed him into believing that he physically cannot get out of his crib until 8:00 in the morning. He’s always been a late sleeper. Until about 18 months, he regularly slept past 9:00. I think that’s because, when he was an infant and would wake at around 5 or 6 , I’d give him a bottle and then put him right back to sleep. Every single time. I’m pretty sure a lot of parents just assume that the 5 or 6 wake time is when their baby is ready to get up for the day, but I made it my life’s mission to convince Finn that–should he come out of his crib before 8:00 in the morning–the world would implode. So, he doesn’t question it. Even if he wakes at around 7:00, which he does sometimes, he just sits quietly, like he has an internalized version of one of those wake clocks. “Finn is up,” Sona and I will say to each other. And then we roll over and go right back to sleep.

Trip Report: Florence, Italy

3 / 21 / 173 / 21 / 17

It’s been a little over a month since my last post, and I could blame that on being unusually busy, but I’m beginning to realize that being unusually busy is our new usual.

Amidst the busyness, though, Sona and I managed to sneak away for an 8-day getaway to Italy–sans Finn.

It was our first alone trip since he was born, and before I go into too much detail about all the ways in which it was absolutely wonderful, soul-satisfying, and marriage-restoring, let me just give you the short of it: IT IS NOT ONLY OKAY, BUT ALSO TOTALLY IMPORTANT, THAT PARENTS TAKE SOME TIME AWAY FROM THEIR KIDS.

We were very lucky that my mom and step-dad–Mimi and Pops–were willing to sacrifice a week of their own vacation time to come up to Chicago and take care of our little man. We really wanted him to stay in our home. First, because we thought he needed as much stability as possible in the very fragile state we’d assumed he’d be in without us (more on that, later) and, also, because driving to and from Tennessee would shave a couple of days off of our own vacay time.

Italy has been on our must-visit list for a LONG time. And we figured that if we had a chance to escape without any toddler, we might as well go somewhere that would be difficult with him. It’s not that doing Europe with Finn would be impossible (though, the thought does terrify me), it’s just that doing it the way we’d want to do it–wandering aimlessly for hours, drinking a lot of wine, lounging carelessly at a variety of sidewalk cafes–would be impossible with him. Having him would have totally changed the nature of the trip, and we wanted to remember what it was like to be wanderlust-y and carefree–without a baby.

Though, as the trip date approached, Sona and I were feeling so tired and depleted that we found ourselves secretly wishing that we’d just booked a lazy trip to the Caribbean–one in which we wouldn’t feel guilty sleeping on a beach chair all day.

And even though we did run from sun-up to sun-down each day, walking a total of 50+ miles while we were gone (according to our iPhones) and exploring every inch of both Florence and Venice, it was completely worth it. The trip gave us a small glimpse into our pre-baby lives. That was a time that we wouldn’t trade for now–because, of course, Finn is our sun and our moon–but it was nice to remember who we were to each other before we were moms. We felt more connected to each other than we have in a long time, and that was really because we had one luxury that we don’t have very often, anymore: uninterrupted and responsibility-free time.

As for Finn, he couldn’t have cared less about our absence. I mean, he cared so little that we were actually a little hurt. Couldn’t he have just pretended that he was devastated? Thrown just a few tantrums, thrashing his legs and screaming for “momma”?! Truth was, Mimi and Pops did such a good job giving him completely undivided attention that he was happy as a clam and hardly noticed that we were away.

That is to say, I think the week apart was good for all of us.

Now… Florence! We started in Florence and ended in Venice, which when we asked around, were the two Italian cities that folks seemed to have enjoyed the most. If we’d had a few more days, we would’ve crammed Rome into the itinerary, too, but we didn’t want to over-tax ourselves. (And we really wanted a lot of time for wine and gelato.)

In Florence, we rented an apartment, which is what we generally prefer, as it helps us live more like locals for a few days–and is usually nicer, roomier, and cheaper than a hotel. Our apartment was right around the corner fro Ponte Vecchio–the main attraction in Florence. That put us smack dab in the middle of the two sides of the city separated by the Arno river–one that is more touristy and one that is more geared towards the locals. We enjoyed exploring both.

Florence was a great city to wander and eat in–which are the two things we did the most. Walk. Sit. Drink. Eat. Repeat. That was how we spent those four glorious days. We did a good bit of noshing, rather than elaborate multi-course meals, and it proved to be the best way to experience–and taste–much of what the city had to offer.

We also ate gelato at least twice a day. So, there’s that.

It was in the mid-60s most of the time we were there. So, while it got a little chilly at night, I really enjoyed being able to explore all day without getting too hot. We lucked out with the weather, and it was sunny during our entire visit. That made wandering a lot more enjoyable.

Of course, we did many of the requisite Florence things: we went to see David at dell’Accademia, walked through the Uffizi galleries, rubbed the nose of the lucky boar, and explored the Boboli Gardens.

We also did an all-day private tour of the Tuscan countryside, which included stops in the medieval towns of Montalcino and Pienza, a wine tour and tasting, a visit to some Roman baths, and an awe-inspiring lunch at a local farm.

But really, the days we enjoyed most were the ones when we didn’t have anything on the docket–days when we just set out, grabbed a latte (or two), ate, and walked, and ate some more.

Those are the kinds of days we miss the most–and the kind that were the most restorative.

Next stop, Venice!

Our Florence Faves and Recommendations:

our apartment, VRBO listing 827364
a tour with Andrea from Tuscany Experience Tours
a walk through Boboli Gardens (bring a snack)
pizza at Gusta Pizza
gelato at Gelateria Della Passera, Perche No, and Gelateria Dei Neri
dinner at Vini e Vecchi
a charcuterie board at La Prosciutteria Firenze
anything fried at Il Coccolo
a sandwich at Ino
breakfast (and lunch and snacks and coffee) at Catinetta dei Verrazzano
a nibbling tour through Mercato di San Lorenzo
dinner–and a drink on the square–at 4 Leones

Welcome to Hell (or, Finn’s Molars are Cutting)

2 / 16 / 17

We had dreams of a big family, but then Finn started teething. He’s got 13.5 teeth, currently, and if he gets many more, he will forever be an only child.

Let’s just say, he doesn’t handle teething very well. This sweet child of ours is a delicate, delicate flower, and teething seems to throw every single aspect of his being off-kilter.

He’s currently cutting his top first molars (he blue ones, below); he cut the bottom ones a few weeks ago.

After that, we have the canines (which many say are worse than the molars), and then we should be in the clear for a bit.

DEAR GOD, I AM MORE AFRAID OF FINN’S GETTING CANINES THAN OF OUR SHIT-SHOW OF A GOVERNMENT, WHICH IS CLEARLY DRIVING OUR COUNTRY INTO ALL KINDS OF RUIN. True story.

Finn’s teeth were, generally, pretty late to the party. He entered his second year with only four teeth, and then they all come at once. The good news is that his response to teething is so dramatically terrible that it is unmistakable.

He drools. His face swells. He goes on a total hunger strike. He wakes up throughout the night, slamming his face into his mattress over and over, again. He gets diarrhea, which means he gets a diaper rash. He gets a runny nose and a cough. He becomes cranky as all get-out. He has frequent tantrums, which we’ve realized only happen when he’s sick. And, twice in the past couple of months, he gets an ear infection.

This is all to say, life in the Aquiline household becomes barely tolerable. At its worst, he had a two-week teething spell (those bottom molars took forever to erupt).

He has–and I’m not kidding–been teething non-stop since early December. We’ve had a couple of weeks of peace–weeks when our happy-go-lucky boy returns, but then the switch flips immediately and we feel in his mouth to confirm that, yup, his gums are swollen.

Sunday, he started acting a little funky. Monday, he refused dinner and slept pretty restlessly. By Wednesday, the Teething Monster had officially made himself known. His top left first molar erupted sometime in that span of days, and we’re working on his right molar, now. Yesterday was pretty awful. He wasn’t even cranky, he was just SO sad. All he wanted to do was get in bed with both of us, some chocolate milk, and the iPad. He held our hands as we watched The Grinch for the 187th time. It was beyond pitiful.

This morning, I checked and a jagged corner of his top left molar has finally broken through. His mood was radically improved, already.

I love our pediatrician, but she swears that teething should be completely uneventful. “It doesn’t cause them must discomfort,” she says. So, either Finn is the world’s biggest drama queen (which is totally possible), or she’s full of you-know-what.

And while I’m sure that parents use teething as a catch-all, blaming all of their adorable little turd’s behavior on teething symptoms, I’ve seen my son turn into a completely different child overnight, and the common denominator has always been an erupting tooth.

In just a few weeks, Sona and I are heading out of the country–our first trip alone since Finn was born. My parents will be here, doing the important work of keeping our son alive. God help them.

I know they are already doing us a tremendous favor, but let’s be honest: I pray every night that his canines hold on until our plane is off the runway, we have a spritz in our hand, and are blissfully ignorant of the teething-induced circus back at home.

Our Sweet Sixteen :: A Love Letter

2 / 11 / 172 / 11 / 17

My sweet Sona,

Sixteen years ago, today, we decided to give it a go. It was 2001. I was a freshman at the University of Tennessee at Martin, and you were a sophomore.

We’d met a few months earlier, when I had befriended your then girlfriend. (We won’t name names.) She had told me all about her “Indian princess,” who happened to be traveling with her mom for a semester. Turns out, your mother had torn you away from your life, hoping to take you away and straighten you up. I mean that, literally.

Lucky for me, that little endeavor failed pretty miserably.

I will never forget the first time we met. I was in my dorm room–McCord Hall–which, as I’m sure you remember, was completely decked out in all things Curious George. You walked in, wearing a purple tank top and a pink silk skirt. You seemed anxious and shy and completely overwhelmed by my obnoxious outwardness.

To say we didn’t hit it off is an understatement. I thought you were pretentious and uptight. You thought I was loud and aggressive. (We were both kind of right.)

Weeks passed. Then, one day, I was sitting with a group of friends in the cafeteria when I spotted you, sitting alone. You were eating an apple and reading some obscenely thick philosophical tome.