Like all things in today’s world, having a baby brings with it a lot of stuff. I don’t mean emotional stuff, though there’s certainly that kind of baggage, too. I mean stuff stuff. Like, a lot of baby-colored crap, sitting in every corner of our home.

When we first were pregnant with Finn, we had no idea what stuff we actually needed and, like a lot of people, we probably went a bit overboard, even if we were trying to be minimalists. And although a lot of the stuff is, well, useless in the end, there’s also some items that actually do make the whole keeping-a-baby-alive-and-keeping-yourself-sane thing a whole lot easier.

We get asked about our stuff quite a bit: what stroller do we have? what is that thing that Elias is sleeping in in a photo or video we posted online? So, I’m compiling a list–our newborn survival kit, if you will–of the stuff that actually does make our lives with a new baby a lot easier.

Here’s what’s in our proverbial kit–and what we always recommend to friends (links provided):

1. Fischer-Price Deluxe Rock ‘n Play Sleeper

This had to be first, as it is my ride-or-die baby item. When Finn was born, I wrote a long post about how we tried to avoid the Rock ‘n Play, mostly because it isn’t the cutest thing around. (I know that’s a silly reason–but still.) Then, a few nights into mommyhood, I used the Amazon Now app to order a Rock ‘n Play at 3AM, and it arrived a few hours later. We never looked back. Finn slept in this until he was 7 weeks, and Elias will probably sleep in it a little longer. It sits right beside our bed, and it’s the perfect height for me to reach out and rock when the babes get a little fussy. Babies like it for a few reasons: it has a slight incline, which helps with reflux; it has a slight vibration, which mimics walking around in mommy’s belly (they make self-rocking ones, too, but this is what we prefer); and it is pretty snug, nestling the baby in a half-cocoon. We swear by this thing!

2. Hakaa Silicone Manual Breastfeeding Pump

YOU GUYS!!! This one is new to us; a friend told us about it just after Elias was born. We were a little skeptical, but since it’s so cheap, we ordered it. Sona wears it whenever she’s breastfeeding, putting it on the boob that Elias isn’t currently feeding from (obvs). We were ASTONISHED when we saw that, the first time she used it, she collected around 2 oz. of milk. Now, it’s not uncommon for her to collect 3-4 oz during a single feeding session.

3. Mommy’s Bliss Gripe Water

Indians swear by this stuff, and I’ve noticed it is getting more popular with American parents, too. With Finn, we called this stuff his “candy,” as he loved drinking it, and it was a sure-fire way to calm a gassy belly, help stop fussiness, or interrupt a major case of hiccups.

4. MyBaby Sound Spa

My recipe for getting a baby to sleep well includes a sound machine (we really like this one, as it has both ocean sounds and white noise). We turn the volume ALL THE WAY up on this bad boy, and it works like a charm. Finn still sleeps with one, and so do we. It not only helps the baby, as they are used to a lot of noise in the womb, but it also helps drown out the tiny baby noises that Elias makes all night, which can be maddening to hyper-alert mommy ears.

5. Essential Oil Diffuser

This is the second item in my recipe: an oil diffuser. I’m not one of those folks who is crazy about essential oils (not that there’s anything wrong with them), but we diffuse lavender oil for both of our boys at bedtime, and it calms them.

6. Lavender Oil

This is the lavender oil we use. A whole bottle lasts us almost a year.

7. Zip-front Sleepers

We learned very early on that buying button-up onesies was a fatal mistake. Trust me on this one. When it’s 2AM and you’re sleep deprived and your baby just pooped for the third time in a row, you are not going to want to fumble through 27 buttons before getting back in bed. These organic zip-front onesies are the way to go.

8. Halo Micro-Fleece SleepSack

I’ve done you all a HUGE favor: I have tried pretty much every single baby swaddle on the market, and that’s not a joke. We probably went through 10 different options with Finn, and we’ve already experimented with the 5 “best-selling” versions with Elias. With both boys, we ended up using only one thing: micro-fleece Halo SleepSacks. I’d kind of forgotten how awesome they were, but the hospital where we had Elias actually gives them out as baby gifts to all parents. That’s an endorsement!

There are two reasons why these are my favorite: 1. They are super easy to put on. Some swaddles require a master’s degree in baby swaddling in order to operate and, since this thing comes off and on a million times throughout the night, easiness is important. 2. The micro-fleece does not stretch, unlike the cotton and muslin versions. So, while we love this swaddle, we don’t like the cotton Halo SleepSacks for this reason. If they stretch, babies will stretch them, and then they can escape. If your little one has even the slightest inkling that they an get an arm free, it will become their life mission, and no one will get any sleep. We’ve found that, because we keep our house relatively cool, these are fine year-round.

9. Bumbo Changing Pad

This last one is also a new addition to our survival kit–and one that was an unexpected hero. Since Elias is sleeping in our room for the first couple of months, we needed a second changing pad. We’re using Sona’s nightstand as the changing table, and traditional changing pads are too big to fit. When searching for smaller versions, I found this. I was reticent to spend this much on a changing pad, but the size was right and it came in our favorite color–sold! Since this pad is a soft rubber, you don’t need any sort of cover on it. I can’t tell you how nice it has been to be able to just wipe up accidents, rather than having to change and wash a dozen changing pad covers each week. Elias has proven himself to be quite the champion pee-er, and it’s been a life-saver to have a changing pad that could simply be wiped down whenever he takes aim.

***includes affiliate links***

We’ve scheduled an induction for August 3. If Elias doesn’t make an appearance before his due date, he will be making an appearance on it. Sona is past the point of discomfort and, since Finn had shoulder dystocia, making his delivery a little difficult, we don’t want to wait for Elias to get bigger.

It’s strange to think that, at this time next week, we will very likely be a family of four. I am ready for a new baby. We worked especially hard for this one, and we know it is going to be our last. So, we’re romanticizing Elias’s newborn days in a way that, perhaps, we won’t once we’re ragged and tired.

Of course, because time is a thief, I’ve also been thinking a lot about Finn’s newborn days, which seem impossibly long ago. If you weren’t with us then, you can look back at some of my older posts, detailing that time, like this one, about the first day of his life.

I am so glad I have dozens of blog posts from Finn’s first year, as they not only help me relive that time, but they also remind me of what life was like for us as parents of a wee one. I’ve already been re-reading blog posts as a way to remind myself of some of the practical things: how we got Finn to be such a good sleeper, when we introduced solids, what our daily routine was in the first few weeks, etc. I know this stuff will come back to us naturally–like riding a bike–but it’s also nice to have record of the fact that we’ve already done this, and we all survived.

There are some things, though, that we are approaching differently with Elias. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say, and we definitely feel like we learned some things with Finn that will lead us to change things up a bit with Elias.

So, I thought I’d write a bit about what we will do the same–and what we won’t. Here it goes:

We will follow the exact same “sleep training” program. “Sleep training program” sounds a bit more rigid than what we did, actually. Still, there’s a reason this is first on the list: Finn is, and always has been, an amazing sleeper. He regularly sleeps past 8:30, goes to bed without a fuss, doesn’t wake in the night, and still takes 3-4 hour naps. We got very lucky in this regard, and folks are quick to remind us like Elias will likely be the exact opposite. Still, I’m going to follow the same protocol, which actually isn’t any formal protocol at all. We did a mix of “le pause,” from Bringing Up Bebe, starting when Finn was first born, and incremental night weaning, necessitated by Sona returning to work at eight weeks, and a tiny little bit of cry-it-out–but not until he was several months old. The fact is, Finn slept 3-4 hour stretches from the get-go, and he was sleeping through the night in his own crib, pretty much unassisted, by 7 weeks. It will be a bit trickier this time, as Finn and Elias will be sharing a room, but I plan to do things as similarly to what we did with Finn as possible. I talk a bit more about his transition to STTN here, and I’m happy to share more, if anyone wants to chat.

I will not stress as much about “connecting” with Elias in the first few days. With Finn, I struggled a lot with insecurities about whether or not, as the non-bio mom, I’d connect with him easily. That stress overshadowed some of my interactions with him in the days when we were at the hospital, which I wrote about here. I also spent a lot of time running around, checking on the pets and taking care of out-of-town guests, in those first couple of days, which meant that I missed out on some hospital time. All of that got me pretty down, and I had more than a few good cries. What I now know is that I will love Elias to the ends of the world and back again, and our relationship doesn’t hinge on how much time we get together in the first 48 hours, though, of course, I want all of the time. With Elias, I’ll be more confident that things will progress naturally, and I won’t let worry about that interfere with the birth.

I will not wear an ugly grandma bra for my first skin-to-skin interaction. Okay, this is silly, but really: LOOK AT THIS PHOTO. Don’t worry. I already bought a simple black sports bra for the occasion.

Sona will be better at self-monitoring her emotions. This is a biggie. Sona is, now, quick to say that she didn’t enjoy her maternity leave with Finn. She struggled a lot as a new mom, and, looking back, I think we both wonder whether she had post-partum depression. Anxiety and fear overtook her ability to experience much joy at having a newborn, and as a result, she doesn’t remember much of that time–and she has a whole lot of regret about that. This time around, she wants to be more proactive about her emotions. That means a lot of things: seeing a therapist regularly, checking in with herself about how it’s going, and acting quickly when she feels like something is off. She wants to enjoy Elias in a way that she wasn’t able to enjoy Finn, and she knows now that she can’t get those days back.

We will try to maintain a more “normal” schedule. The luxury of only having one baby–and not a toddler–is that you can full enclose yourself in the baby bubble, which is a very real thing. Our whole lives revolved around little newborn Finn and HIS schedule. He was a night owl, and he regularly went to bed at 10-11 for the first few months. Our pediatrician actually encouraged this, saying that it’s a normal pattern for newborns, and we’d do best to let him adjust his schedule slowly. So, we did. We ate dinner at 9-10 each time, went to bed at around midnight, slept in until 10 or so, and so on. With Finn around, that just won’t be possible. If we try to do that, we aren’t going to survive.

We will shower with Elias. Finn took a couple of baths in his first week, and then I started to shower with him. In our little garden apartment, we didn’t have a large sink or much counter space, and using the big baby tub was a pain in the butt. So, showering started as a convenience, but I quickly realized that it provided the perfect opportunity to cuddle and connect. So, we kept it up. To this day, Finn showers with me every single night, and it is my favorite time together. He takes no more than 5 baths a year, usually, and I don’t plan for him–or for Elias–to begin bathing on their own anytime soon. Family showers for the win! (For what it is worth: a month ago, I showered with Finn, his BFF Veen, and Veen’s little bro, Dev–all at the same time! So, I’ve got this.)

We will try to be more protective of our family time. When Finn was born, so was Hotel Aquiline, as our tiny little garden apartment became a revolving door for out-of-town guests. The trouble is, when everyone you love lives far away, you have to host a lot of visitors, and we were so thankful that folks wanted to come meet little Finn–and we wanted them to meet him! But hosting out-of-towners is stressful, even when they say things like “you don’t have to entertain me!” That stress is compounded when you have a newborn. This time, we’re hoping that we can keep the visitors at bay, even for just a short while, so that we can really bask in the newness of our family of four.

We will not (did not) buy too many baby shoes or onesies or blankets. I mean, why didn’t anyone tell me that babies don’t wear shoes? And we were given onesies and blankets by pretty much everyone we knew.

We will take all the photos–and more. Finn is the most photographed child in human history, and I have zero regrets about that. I look at our old photos constantly, and they are our most valued possessions. I plan to photograph Elias just as much–if not more! And I hope to be in some of those photos, too, which is something I didn’t do as much with Finn. I also play to re-do my 365 day project, wherein I took a DSLR photo of Finn every single day for a year. With Elias, though, I want to do his first 365 days.

We will opt out of a nanny and into daycare. I was lucky to stay home with Finn for the first 6 months of his life, and I’ll be able to do the same with Elias. After that, Finn joined a nanny share with another little girl, which lasted about 8 months. When it was clear that wasn’t going to work out, we had to scramble to find a daycare. It was absolutely the most stressful part of Finn’s first year. In the end, I wish we would’ve just done daycare from the get-go. We absolutely LOVE where Finn is now, and we love everyone who works there. He developed so much more quickly when he was socialized with a bunch of other kids, and daycare was, for us, a thousand times more reliable and stress-free than a nanny. Elias will be starting daycare right at 6 months, and we’re super happy with that decision.

We will chill the *&$! out. Every meme you’ve ever seen about first and second babies is true. We were way too overprotective and anal about Finn, and we made the lives of grandparents and babysitters and everyone else who touched him pretty much miserable. With Elias, we will chill out. He will be fine. You want to come take my baby for a day? Go for it! I won’t give you a 10-page instructional manual, I promise.

We will be more present. Finn was our first baby, and we were so stressed out about everything (see above). My maternity leave was, to this day, the best period of my life so far. I relished every single second of being with him, but I still wish I would have paid closer attention during that time because, now, I know how quickly the baby phase passes. With Elias, I really, really hope that we can give ourselves the grace to stumble, be tired, be a little cranky, but still recognize that, once that time is gone, we will never, ever get it back. And one day, we will absolutely ache for these years. (I already ache for Finn’s baby years.) This, more than anything, is what I hope for the next few months.

One of the great things about living in a city like Chicago is that there is so much to do during the summer. Chicago is a wonderful city year-round, but in the summer, it SHINES.

So, like every year, I have a list of things I’d like to do between now and summer’s end–mostly fun things and some not-so-fun obligatory things that just need to get done.

Let’s start with the fun stuff. A lot of these are carry-overs from last year, either because they are so awesome that we want to do them again or because we never got around the checking them off of our list. So, this summer, I hope to:

• Spend more time at the beach than last year
• Go berry-picking (may do that this weekend!)
• Make a lot of homemade popsicles
• Continue our summer tradition of eating outside: park dinners, farmers market meals, porch dinners, etc.
• Get family photos taken before and after the baby comes
• Take Finn to see Thomas the Train for a second time
• Have Finn’s first birthday party (he’ll be 3 in August)
• Grow our own tomatoes
• Keep all of our outdoor plants alive
• Do a glam overnight staycation with my gal (cause Mimi and Pops can’t come long enough for us to actually get away)
• Relax about bedtime, allowing for more evening/after dinner scooter rides
• Have a zoo day
• Let Finn play hookie from daycare a few days, giving us Momma & Finn beach time
• Take Finn to his first-ever Chicago pride parade
• Make the rounds at our favorite farmers markets: Evanston, Green City, Andersonville, Granville
• Visit our favorite water park
• Walk the 606 (an elevated train track turned park/walkway)
• Eat all the Italian ice (Mario’s, Tina’s, Miko’s…)
• Make adult slushies
• Spend 2-3 weeks of our maternity leave traveling with the kiddos (thinking Spain, Portugal, and maybe the Caribbean?)
• Visit the Elkhorn antique market in WI

And the not-exactly-fun-but-it-needs-to-be-on-a-list-too stuff:

• Get Finn’s closet professionally redone
• Re-vamp Finn’s room in time for Elias to move in (paint, new rug, rearrange furniture)
• Put the nail in the potty training coffin (this was on last year’s list, too–HA!)
• Sort through–and organize–all of Finn’s old clothes
• Successfully complete the graduate course that I’ve just started
• Establish a gym routine… again
• Survive the eruption of Finn’s second molars
• Get a new HVAC system (waaaaaaaaaah!)

And, of course, there’s one thing that tops all other bucket list items: HAVE ANOTHER BABY!

Let’s do this, Summer 2018.

Well, someone made the colossal mistake of allowing us to purchase property. So, poor judgement aside, we are homeowners!

We’re about as prepared for this as we are to summit Everest. But, of course, that didn’t stop us.

We closed on our duplex this past Friday, met with our contractors Friday afternoon, and demo began, yesterday. By yesterday afternoon, the place was unrecognizable.

And in case you were wondering: HGTV is lies. All lies. This reno stuff is not the least bit glamorous. Where are the plaid-clad twins, talking us through every surprise? Where is the cheeky British woman, telling us exactly how she’ll turn our coat closet into a playroom for ten kids?  As my stepdad said, where’s Joanna Gaines to make a phone call when you need her?

Yeah, there’s none of that. There’s just me, sweat-drenched from cautiously toting Finn through a maze of wood shrapnel and gaping holes in the floor, repeatedly asking out contractor, “Well, what would you do?” Luckily, I think we’re in very good hands.

Our reno will, hopefully, be complete in just 3.5 short weeks, allowing us to move in at the end of June. In an effort to think less about the barrage of “You’re needed at the property” texts and more about the end product, let’s talk about our game plan.

This is inside the front door, and you can see several different floorings: slate, the original wood from 1916, newer wood, carpet, more slate.

Short term: All of this will become one, consistent flooring–solid oak, stained a mid-tone matte brown.

This little dining nook is one of the features that sold us. These spaces really typify vintage Chicago architecture, and I can’t wait to use it as a space to dine. And a space to host our Christmas tree come holiday season!

Short term: We’re replacing that fan with a swanky lighting fixture, replacing all wood floors, and painting this space–along with the entire top floor–a light gray. (It’s more of a beige-ish gray, now.)

Short term: Remove carpet from stairs (done), and add wood. Replace and relocate sconces. Add baby gate.

Long term: Figure out a more stylish banister solution.

Corner fireplaces–sheesh. We’re not doing much with this thing, yet, aside from sourcing a great mirror to rest on top.

Long term: We want to re-face the fireplace with mosaic marble tile and build out a more substantial mantle. We’re undecided about whether or not to fill in the corner space, creating a flat front.

If you walk down the hall from the entrance, you’ll pass two bedrooms on your right: Finn’s and then ours. Across the hall, there is a full bathroom, a small pantry, and the washer/dryer, which are stacked in a closet. The kitchen is at the opposite end of the top floor.

Short term: New floors, new paint.

Long term: Relocate the laundry to the larger walk-in closet in our bedroom, creating a more usable laundry space. Turn laundry closet into a walk-in pantry.

This kitchen, though not huge, has twice as much counter and cabinet space as the kitchen I’ve cooked in for the past 11 years. So, I’m stoked!

Short term: Replace slate with wood floor. We are also having all cabinets professionally refinished. They will be white and will have new brushed gold hardware. Gotta have a white kitchen! New light fixtures.

Long term: In a couple of years, we’d also like to replace the counter tops, add a backsplash, and integrate an apron front sink. That space to the right of the cabinets, which is the space you enter in from the back (where we’ll park), will eventually be turned into a mini mudroom with a built-in bench, shelves, and coat hooks. Looking for ideas for this, by the way!

I didn’t get a great photo of this space, which is at the back of the house and gets great light. The previous owners had a bistro table and chairs, here. We aren’t quite sure how we want to use it, yet, but I imagine it’ll be where Finn hangs out while I cook.

Short term: New paint, new floor. We also have an amazing vintage piece of furniture that we’re refinishing in emerald green. It will go back here. New light fixture.

Long term: We want to have a custom breakfast bar, made out of reclaimed wood and metal piping, put up on the wall–right under the window. This will happen in the new few months, hopefully.

Our master. Not too big, not too small. It will work well for us. There are three big closets–only one of which is pictured, here. There is also a whole wall of closets opposite where the bed will be.

Short term: Replace ceiling fan. Refinished floors, new paint. Have two sconces wall-mounted to flank the headboard, freeing up space on the nightstands.

Long term: Open up the full wall of closets opposite the bed and have a custom closet system put in, complete with shelving, drawers, sliding frosted door, and a space for a mounted TV. Turn the closet with built-ins, pictured above, into a laundry space with shelving and tile.

The master bathroom is small–like 6×8. But Sona and I have used a small bathroom for years, don’t really care about having double-sinks, and are determined to make the best of it. There’s a huge window, providing great light. So, that helps!

Short term: Everything goes. This bathroom will be completely gutted. New vanity (gray). Round mirror. Sconces. New pot lights. Jacuzzi tub (eww) comes out (done); custom walk-in shower goes in. All marble tile everywhere. Brushed gold hardware and fixtures. Pocket door installed to save room.

Hallway bathroom, which will really be Finn’s bathroom–if he ever actually takes a bath. (This kid only has ever showered with me.)

Short term: Another total gut. We are keeping the tub, but it will be re-glazed, if needed. Shower doors come down. Herringbone marble floors. Pedestal sink. Subway tile along the tub, all the way to the ceiling. More gold fixtures–1980’s is back, y’all. We’re also doing a pocket door here, as the door opens to totally obscure the tub.

This is a bad photo of Finn’s room, which is pretty much the same size as his room, now. It has a large window and a large closet.

Short term: Paint, new floor.

Long term: Built-in closet system with lots of storage for all of his junk

Ahhh–the space that sealed the deal. This downstairs family room is HUGE. Carpeted, yes, but also HUGE. It’ll be a great space for us to hang out, watch TV, let Finn roam, and house the rabbits.

Short term: Carpet is GONE, already. New engineered wood flooring is going in. New paint, like everywhere else.

Long term: We want to do a full wall of built-ins for toy storage, books, and the media center.

The rest of the downstairs includes a bathroom (which I forgot to photograph but which is the only room in the place not changing at all, for now), a couple of closets, a huge under-the-stair-storage space, and a bedroom.

Short term: Replace carpet with engineered wood. Paint.

Long term: Update downstairs bath (which is actually fine as it is and is in the best shape of all the bathrooms, by far), turn one of the closets in the 3rd bedroom into an office space, and turn the large closet by the back door, which is where we will enter with the stroller, into a mudroom space.

And, that’s it–our first home! We are ridiculously smitten. It’s not perfect, but it is ours. And getting to put our stamp on it makes it even better.

I’ll share more photos as things progress. Good thing I took these over the weekend; it’s all one big mess, now!

My brother-in-law suggested that I title this post the “Best Blog Post Ever!!!!,” but I’ll refrain. 😉

This past weekend, Finn took his third trip requiring air travel–and his first to where it all began: Tennessee. (And by “it,” I mean our little family.) (But I might also mean really good fried chicken and barbecue.)

We went to celebrate a couple of things: my sister-in-law, Ionee’s, graduation from Centre College and my nephew, Max’s, 5th birthday!

One of the things I miss most about living away from family is the chance to celebrate the smaller, picnic-oriented holidays: Memorial Day, July 4th, etc. Those are the holidays that I associate with family and backyards and swimming pools and barbecues and really bad (but really good) jello casseroles. And, since most of our family lives far away, we don’t usually get to join in those festivities, ourselves.

So, it was nice to have an excuse to get together. Things are so hectic this summer–what with the house-buying, the moving, and other stuff; we won’t get many timeouts as a family, and this one was much-needed.

While in Tennessee, Finn got to meet a lot of Sona’s family for the first time: his grandpa, Yogesh; his cousin, Max; and his aunt, Sarah.

My parents also came to town for a couple of nights. Cause, you know, there’s no way that they were going to let Finn be in the same state without their seeing him.

Traveling with Finn is, as you might expect, a little more challenging than when it was just the two of us. He did pretty well on the flights, again, sleeping through both of them. But he was a holy terror the first day and a half we were away.

We couldn’t figure out what it was: a general lack of sleep, residual discomfort from his ear infection, his being overwhelmed by all of the family that kept begging for his attention. Likely, all three of those things were factors, but we woke up early Saturday morning to find that his first tooth had finally broken through. And Monday, tooth #2 joined the party.

So, while he was a bit of a cranky pants for some of our time, he rallied during the last half of the weekend and seemed to really warm up to everyone, especially Max.

(Can’t you tell?)

Finn really seems to love older kids, and he spent much of the weekend being happily entertained by Max, who was a very patient and gracious big cousin.

We also got our southern food fix. Nashville has some good eats now, y’all! We didn’t get to try everything we wanted. So, we’ll have to plan another trip again, soon. We did get to eat some hot chicken (which the Indians thought was too hot), a good southern brunch (tomato pie, cornbread and chicken, pineapple and cheese casserole–yeah, I went there), some seafood, a few helpings of grits, and some gourmet popsicles, which Finn was a fan of.

me & the graduate

the Patel siblings

We ended the weekend with an afternoon at the pool, which is just what everyone needed after a busy–and hot–weekend. If you allow me to tap into my southern side for just a second: it was hotter than a billy goat’s butt in a pepper patch. But that didn’t stop Finn from having any fun. He stayed in the pool until sundown, ate pizza with the rest of us, and chowed down on an ice cream bar before saying goodbye to his TN family.

We’re home, now, and we close on our new place this Friday. There are a thousand things that need done over the course of the next month, and I better go get on it! (Where’s the fried chicken when you need it?)