Weekday evenings are–dare I say–a challenge. Of all the things that accompany having a baby–and all of the changes we’ve experienced–I think learning to manage weekday evenings has been the biggest struggle.
And that struggle is real, people.
Before Finn, a typical weekday evening went something like this: Sona and I’d both get home between 4-4:30, provided she didn’t hit any traffic on her commute. We’d spend an hour or so working out, either at home or at the gym. Then, we’d usually have a little down time, accompanied by a post-workout snack (don’t tell me this surprises you). After that, Sona would tend to the animals, empty the dishwasher, and maybe do a little laundry. I’d get dinner ready and pack breakfasts and lunches for the next day. We’d both shower, eat a leisurely dinner at around 7:30, watch at least a couple hours worth of our favorite TV shows, and both crawl into bed at around 10:30.
Fast forward 7.5 months, and our weekday evenings have gone from being predictable, quiet, and mostly relaxing to being hurried, demanding, and exhausting.
I’m going to go ahead and blame Finn for this one (at least, until he can defend himself).
Now, a typical weekday evening goes something like this: We still both get home at around the same time. Forget going to the gym, though. Workout? What’s a workout? Our gym memberships have long since expired. We spend a little bit of time with Finn before kicking off our nighttime routines.
The dishwasher gets emptied; the animals get fed. Sona has to squeeze in a pumping session (see what I did, there?). We wash bottles from the day and prepare bottles for tomorrow.
Since we’re trying to eat dinner earlier, I usually start getting our meal prepped at around 5:30. During this time, we either plop Finn down on the kitchen floor–surrounded by toys–or we put him in his jumpy, giving him a front row seat to the madness.
We both try to squeeze in showers, and then our goal is to try to get Finn down for his evening catnap by 6:15, giving us a chance to eat dinner in peace.
35-40 minutes later, he’s up. If we’re lucky, we’ve finished eating just in time to see him squirm. After waking, Finn gets dinner–usually a little of whatever we’ve eaten. His appetite has increased like WHOA.
While I feed him–an obscenely messy and time-consuming task–Sona cleans up the dinner dishes. Lately, I’ve been FaceTiming my parents during Finn’s dinner. It’s proven to be the only time when Finn and I are both sitting down and able to look at the phone.
From there, it’s a mad rush to to the finish-line: clean him up after dinner, clean up AFTER his dinner (I’m not sure which is worse), bathe him (every other day), do his nighttime routine, play a little more, breastfeed, and get him in bed by, if all goes as planned, 8:30 or so.
Sona and I have been so tired these past few weeks. We’ve found ourselves going to bed an hour or so after we put Finn down. “We’ve successfully watched 1/2 of a TV show, this evening,” I’ll joke.
It’s a privilege to have evenings with Finn, of course. We love him. He loves us. This past weekend, I cried over dinner, explaining to one of my best friends that–no matter how hard it is–I wouldn’t trade a single day with Finn for a single day before Finn. Not ever. There’s no question. I’d choose NOW every. single. time.
Still, weekday evenings can be dizzying, and they sometimes bring out the worst in Sona and I.
Plus, now that Finn is eating meals, we’re struggling to find the time to fit it all in. He’s eating dinner pretty late–usually at around 6:45 or 7:00–and we’d like to bump that up, a bit. But… how?! Where is the time?
Do we start skipping his evening nap? Do I somehow get dinner prepped by 5:00? Do I just feed him food from the day before? Should he eat when we eat? Should we eat much later?
There are a thousand questions and a thousand possible answers. And even so, the reality is this: our weekday evenings are probably going to be a hot mess for a long, long time. We should probably just go ahead and increase our DVR’s storage space, now.
I have a hair appointment tonight, and I’ve spent all day, stressing about how badly that’s going to screw up our evening. This is just what life is like with a baby and two working mommas. It ain’t all donuts and family selfies.
We scarf down our own dinner, fearing that Finn will wake up and waylay our meal. We spend a lot of time, wiping Finn’s dinner off of every surface in the house. We’re like four episodes behind on The Voice, and I’ve pretty much given up hope on ever getting into Hollywood Medium.
This is a special kind of chaos, for sure. I spend a lot of time, telling family and friends that having a baby is, in so many ways, better than we expected it would be. There’s one caveat, though: weekday evenings.
Weekday evenings can suck it.