A little over a year ago (or a little more than that, if I’m being honest), I set myself a goal: I was going to take a “good” photo of Finn, using my DSLR camera, every single day for a year. Even as a pro photog, I found myself relying mostly on my iPhone for photos of our little life, and I knew that, one day, I’d regret not having higher-quality captures of our memories.
Here’s the first shot:
And the last:
KILL ME NOW.
Here were my original “rules” for the project:
- Don’t be a perfectionist. Every single photo isn’t going to be a masterpiece. Yes, I do covet all of those photo-perfect, carefully-curated social media feeds I follow. BUT THOSE MOMS MANAGE THOSE ACCOUNTS LIKE IT’S THEIR JOB. In fact, it is their job. And I already have one. So, I don’t want to get bogged down in my own perfectionism. This is about capturing Finn’s life–not about creating magazine-ready photos that are the envy of every Instagram mom out there. (Sidenote: I had to talk myself out of re-shooting today’s photo. This one may be tricky for me.)
- Let Sona take the photo, sometimes. One of my goals for this project is to capture our lives as a family, and I am part of that family. I’m always behind the camera. We have tons of photos of Sona and Finn together but very few with him and I. I hope to get some keepers over the next year.
- Accept the photographic realities/limitations of our lives. We live in a garden apartment, currently, and we get about 27 minutes of good photographic light a day. That’s just the reality. The lighting conditions in our home SUCK. (Loads of natural light is one of my must-haves as we search for a place to buy, btw.) We also sometimes have a messy house. And our cats have ripped our couch to shreds. And, sometimes, there will be piles of unemptied grocery bags in the background. That’s okay. Again, it’s not about perfection; it’s about reality.
- Don’t stage photos. Don’t prop Finn up like a doll, teasing him into the perfect, cherubic pose. Those photos can happen, too, but they just aren’t part of this project. My goal is to capture candids–and not staged moments.
- Aim for variety. Shoot during all times of the day. Capture the morning. Capture bath time. Capture tantrums. Capture everything, especially the stuff I wouldn’t capture, normally.
- Take my camera out of the house. It’s currently 15 degrees in Chicago, and I don’t see myself taking many outdoor photos in the very near future, but I do hope to, eventually. As we get out and about, I want the photos to reflect that.
- Don’t let this challenge stress me out. This is supposed to be fun; it’s not supposed to feel like another burdensome responsibility. Keep things in perspective.
Well, today, I posted the last photo on Instagram, and it is more than a little bittersweet. I mean, I’m not so sad that the project is over because, well, it sometimes felt cumbersome. But when I look back at this year+ of photos, seeing how much Finn has changed and how many tiny, magical moments we’ve shared with him is enough to knock me flat.
And here’s the truth: 90% of these moments would likely have been forgotten had I not made the conscious decision to capture them through this project.
(Side note: As I was working on this post, a BOLOGNA commercial came on with a your-kids-grow-up-too-quickly theme, and I started sobbing.)
I learned a lot from this little photo project. I learned that sometimes I should be the momma who is a photographer and not the photographer who is a momma. That is, my primary goal for photographing our lives should be to preserve memories–not to take editorial-quality images like I try to create for my clients. I learned that I need to get in front of the camera more often. Finn will look back at these photos one day, and I want him to know I was there with him–not just behind the lens. I learned that small, quiet moments are just as special as exotic vacations and special outings. I learned that I want to remember the tantrums and bad days and midnight popsicles in bed when we all have a stomach virus just as much as all of the good stuff. I learned that Finn has a million different expressions–ones that most people wouldn’t notice–but ones that Sona and I hope to never forget. I learned that having my DSLR camera out and accessible means that I’m much more likely to reach for it. I learned that it is ALWAYS worth it to lug the big, heavy camera around–to the beach, to the park, to the bathroom during potty breaks.
I don’t know that I’ll repeat this same project any time soon, but I can tell you that in the month or so since it has ended, I’ve hardly taken any photos of Finn that aren’t on my iPhone. So, I’m going to have to continue to challenge myself to preserve memories in a valuable way. Because, if I’m being honest, the only thing I do regret is not taking even more photos.
These photos have seen the purchase of our first home. Crawling and then stumbling and then walking. Turning one and turning two. A very bumpy first year full of ear infections and teething and tired mommas. Four countries. A first trick-or-treating adventure. A magical Christmas. Swimming. Running. Being naughty. A gazillion parks. Lots of eating. A little bit of crying. So many giggles. And all of Finn’s favorite people.
Let’s take a look back:
