You guys, we’re having another boy!!!!!!!!!
We went ahead and did the full gamut of genetic testing, which also allowed us to find out the sex of the baby a few weeks early that we would have otherwise. Yesterday morning, I got this text from Sona:
We’d been waiting on the email for 10 days. At first, she suggested that we each just open the email–WHILE AT WORK–and text each other about the results. “ARE YOU INSANE?!?” I said. So, instead, we both got home a little earlier, looked at the results together, and then had a little coffee date, wherein we talked baby names for an hour.
This is something I know you’re not supposed to say, and we would’ve been happy either way, of course, but… we really, really, really wanted another boy! So, we are THRILLED.
Life is just funny. Before we had Finn, I was dead-set on having a girl. I was convinced that’s what we were going to have, and I’d already fantasized about everything that went along with mommy-ing a little lady. The day we found out that Finn was a boy, I was SO disappointed.
Now, I couldn’t imagine having it any other way. Not only will having another boy mean that, logistically, life will be a bit easier: we don’t have to buy new stuff, sharing a room makes a little more sense, it ain’t our first rodeo, etc.
But what’s more, for lots of reasons–some that are rational and some that are not–we really wanted another boy for Finn. I think that, if we’re being honest, we have some guilt associated with the internalized homophobia and misogyny that bites at us, reminding us that we’ve brought a son into the world without having a male figure in the house. I’m ashamed to even say this out loud, but it is something we think about. And while most of my brain knows that Finn will be a perfectly happy, well-adjusted child–even more well-adjusted than the children of hetero couples, according to some studies–there is a tiny part of my brain, hidden deep in the darkest place, that sometimes questions, “Will he resent us for not having a father?”
So, we’re pretty happy about the fact that Finn won’t have to feel isolated in a house full of women (as we think that being a sperm donor baby with same-sex biracial parents is likely enough for him to grapple with, already).
But we’re also just really excited to cuddle a little baby boy, again.
I would consider you both very lucky. My friend’s brother and his husband have adopted children. These kids are so healthy, wealthy and wise beyond the norm. You’re fortunate to be in this situtation that God has blessed you in giving life to another human.
Looking forward to learn the name of your baby.