Since I’ve been pretty open about all things concerning first-time parenthood, I’ve had a lot of friends–and friends of friends–reach out to me with various questions. Yet, the question I receive the most is this: What should we register for?

I get it, because I was in a full-on registry panic, too, before Finn was born. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m crazy about researching The Best of everything. You want to know what computer to buy? What island oasis to book? What Korean BBQ restaurant to try? I’m usually a good person to ask, as I spend hourrrrrrrs online, Googling reviews and blog posts and discussion forums, searching tirelessly for The Best Thing Ever. (By the way: this is a great way to waste your life, induce a lot of unneeded anxiety, and piss off your other half.)

Nonetheless, I can usually be counted on to source the good stuff. And when it came to creating our baby registry, I took on that project like it was a full-time job. There were whole weeks of my life lost to asking, “Uppababy or Baby Jogger? Vista or Cruz?”

We followed a lot of the checklists online, too, registering for all the standard goods. Some of the things we registered for ended up never even being opened. Some things we waffled over are lifesavers, now.

So, let’s break it down. Had we to do it all over again, what would we keep, what would we ditch, and what would we add?

What would we keep? This isn’t an exhaustive list, as we registered for–and were gifted–lots of useful things. Here are some of the things that have been the most useful:

• Burp cloths. YOU NEED ALL THE BURP CLOTHS. There were never enough clean. We loved these.
• Sleepsacks and swaddles in varying sizes and configurations. Finn relied on this to sleep well, and he outgrew them pretty quickly. (I’ve written more about those, here.) Currently, Finn is wearing this one.
• Bottle warmer. This is one of the things that people are really divided on, but I’m super happy we went for it, and we still use it several times a day. We have this Boon one, which is super easy and streamlined.
• An expensive and high-quality stroller. We went with the UppaBaby Vista, which was a lot of money (to us, anyway), and we haven’t regretted it for a single day.
• Lots of baby body wash and lotions (good organic ones–not J&J).
• A good sound machine. This is one of our must-haves. We sleep with a sound machine, and Finn sleeps with one, too. His is turned all the way up. He’s a great sleeper, and we attribute a lot of that to this little contraption. This is the one we have.
• Stuff for a breastfeeding momma: nipple creams, pads, nursing bras, pumping supplies. It ain’t all about the baby. Momma has needs, too.

What would we ditch? (Please don’t be offended if you bought us any of these things. We asked for them, after all.)

• Bibs. Finn has worn a bib twice in his life. We have approx. 30. Enough said.
• Baby shoes. Guess what? Babies don’t wear shoes. I, apparently, didn’t realize this.
• Onesies in sizes over 12 months. At that point, we wanted Finn to wear real clothes, and he has a tons of onesies he has hardly ever worn.
• Blankets. This is the one gift pretty much every single person will buy you, like it or not. You will end up with enough blankets to keep your kid’s entire preschool class warm.
• Bathtub. This is going to be controversial, as I can see how a lot of people would use a tub regularly. However, we ended up showering with Finn (we still do) and he only used his tub a dozen or so times. We didn’t have a lot of space, and it’s an eyesore. Next time, we’d do one of those cheap baby-sized sponges or something collapsible.
• All food-related things. When we were preparing for Finn, we hadn’t yet thought through our plan for introducing solids. We registered for a gazillion baby food things: mashers and squeeze bottles and cookbooks. Then, we decided we wanted to do baby-led weaning, and he ate purees twice. TOTALLY wasted.
• All of the parenting how-to books. HA! You think you’ll have time to read? You’re so cute.

What would we add? These are some things we ended up buying, ourselves–and something we wish, in hindsight, we’d asked for.

• More clothes that are actually clothes. Friends’ kids started sporting cool jackets and jeans and sweaters, and Finn was still in onesies. “Oh, we need like–real clothes,” we realized at around 6 months.
• A full supply of all kinds of baby meds: cough medicine, Tylenol, Motrin, etc. This stuff is expensive, and we go through it pretty quickly. Gripe Water was particularly useful in the first few months.
• A diffuser and lavender oil. I’ve talked about diffusers, before. We’ve used a diffuser with lavender oil since the day Finn was born. I swear by it, and I’m convinced it is one of the reasons he sleeps so well. This oil has lasted us since the day he was born.
• EZ PZ silicone eating mats, as they are used twice a day in our house, now.
• Organizational stuff: baskets, crates, and drawer dividers. Baby stuff is plentiful and small–you’ll need to wrangle it. These are great for organizing tiny clothes in a drawer.
• Gift certificates to local photo studios. Baby portraits are expensive–but they are also SO important. I also wish we would’ve done a family photo session when Finn was a newbie. These are gifts that will last forever.
• Rock ‘n Play. Just sing the praises of the Rock ‘N Play gods, already. There’s no denying their power. We resisted and ended up buying one ourselves–at 3AM during one of the first weeks of Finn’s life. Never looked back!

Of course, there are lots of other little things that made our lives easier, but these are the things that jump out–the items that were useful. Or were totally NOT useful.

New babies bring with them a ton of stuff. And, ultimately, you’ll realize that you don’t need as much as you thought you did… but try telling that to a new momma, prepping her first registry!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about things we’ve been loving, lately–things that make life with Finn a little easier. Now that he’s 6.5 months old, we’ve outgrown many of the things we originally coveted. He can basically crawl out of his Rock ‘N Play now, for instance.

But there’s some new stuff that has come in handy, and these are the things that, currently, we can’t live without.

1. Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit

At around 3.5 months, we decided to transition Finn out of his Halo swaddles at night. It lasted about two days, and then he started showing signs of the dreaded 4-month sleep regression. Immediately, I took to the trusty internet and found many moms singing the praises of this sleepsuit. We tried it, loved it, and have never looked back! Finn sleeps like a charm, and he’s never woken up in the middle of the night since we started using it.

For most naps, he sleeps in a sleep sack, as we want to try to make the looming transition out of the sleepsuit a little easier, but if he’s really fighting a nap, the sleepsuit always does the trick!

2. Noggin Stik

The Noggin Stik is one of the best-rated baby toys on Amazon. So, for Christmas, we ordered it for Finn. It was the first gift he opened, and for those first couple of weeks, he seemed relatively uninterested in it. “Well, that was a dud!” I thought.

Then, sometime in January, once his grip improved, he took a liking to it, and he has been obsessed with it ever since. Not only does it rattle and light up, but it also has a mirror on the bottom. It has provided hours of distraction (which reminds me–the battery needs replaced)! It is definitely his most favorite toy.

3. Plastic Chain Links

These seem so simple–and cheap! But they are really great for chubby, little baby hands. They are easy to grip and good to chew on. One set comes with plenty of links, allowing us to have some in the car, in the diaper bag, at home, at the nanny’s–you get the idea! They are a quick and easy method of entertainment, and Finn really enjoys them. All of that for $5? Sold!

4. Aquaphor

Can we buy stock in this stuff? It’s the perfect remedy for dry baby skin, faces chapped from drool, diaper rash, craddle cap, chapped lips… I could go on. Very early on, when Finn started showing signs of dry, sensitive skin, our pediatrician recommended that we “slather” this stuff on him twice a day.

At his latest check-up, she said that we should start putting it around his mouth every time we change his diaper. Since he’s drooling so much, this helps prevent drool rash.

Truthfully, in this dry winter air, I find myself sneaking in and stealing a scoop for myself, too.

5. Zutano Booties

I went a little crazy, buying Finn lots of baby shoes that he really didn’t need. But, in pretty much every photo you’ll see of him, he’s wearing these booties. He wears them nearly every single day. They are cute, warm, and easy to put on. He’s very close to outgrowing his first pair, sadly, and we’re already planning on buying another.

6. Silicone Baby Food Freezer Storage

Finn has started eating solids, and we try to give him a “meal” at around dinnertime each day. Usually, I just put whatever we’re eating in the food processor. I like making his food. It really doesn’t take much time at all, it’s cheaper than buying pre-made baby food, and I can control what goes in it.

When I make a batch of something–like lentil stew or sweet potatoes or cinnamon pears–I usually make enough for a few days. So, I fill these silicone trays with the leftovers, pop them in the freezer, and have little pre-portioned rounds of baby food for a later date. When they are frozen, I put them into little freezer bags, labeling them with the ingredients and the date. Without much effort, we’ve already accumulated several bags of possible meals, and it makes busy evenings much easier.

I’m going to try to post about the things we find useful more often, as the internet is overloaded with lists of “must haves” for new parents. The reality is, there is a lot of stuff we could do without, but there are also some things that we find invaluable. And, as Finn changes so rapidly, our must-have items change, too.

This is a very bad, red-eyed selfie of our first flight with Finn. It was taken way, way early (like EARLY) last Saturday morning, as we traveled to New Mexico to visit Sona’s family.

It was our first trip with a baby, and, leading up to it, we were more than a little anxious.

Since Sona and I travel a lot, we knew we’d be breaking in Finn’s baby wings pretty early. With  school being out for the winter and Sona’s time off (which was completely consumed by maternity leave, last year) renewed, we decided that early January was a good time for his first trip, and the flight to New Mexico seemed like a reasonable start.

Since Finn is, mostly, a great baby, we weren’t really nervous about how he’d behave. (Though, we were a little concerned about how much we’d be getting him off-schedule, especially on travel days.) Instead, most of our anxiety centered around HOW MUCH CRAP we’d have to pack for him.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate just how much stuff parents have to schlep through airports? I mean, REALLY.

A couple weeks before we left, we began making lists. One day, Sona came home with the most meticulous (and ridiculous) list of everything we’d typically use for Finn during an average week. We’re talking: “11 onesies, 14 washcloths, 47 diapers…” You get the idea.

I was determined to condense as much as possible. It helped that we were staying with family and, therefore, were able to do laundry. So, we packed much less than we’d actually use, knowing we could wash halfway through the week and use everything all over, again.

We also only took 3 bottles, two that were in our carry-on bags, planning to just wash them as soon as they were used.

So, the suitcase situation actually ended up not being quite so bad, and we didn’t feel like we had to pack much more than we typically would for ourselves.

But the carry-on situation was another matter.

First, we needed to take a stroller–but not our very large, very heavy stroller. Before Finn was born, I’d spent a lot of time researching travel strollers, knowing that it was something we’d get a lot of use out of. After reading reviews and blogs by lots of parent travelers, we registered for–and received–the Maclaren Mark II. It’s only 7 lbs, collapses with one hand, and can be carried over-the-shoulder with the ease of a large umbrella.

We LOVE it! Technically, Finn shouldn’t use it until he’s 6 months, but after giving it a test-run at home, we were confident that he’d be just fine. And he was! He seemed super comfy and very happy. Is it the sturdiest stroller? The most comfortable? The one with the most storage capabilities? The prettiest? No. But it’s the best thing we could find for traveling, and that’s what we needed.

We also had to take our car seat, since we planned to rent a car the entire time. Plus, we had to have it for the cab ride to and from the airport. There was LOTS of deliberation about whether we should rent another, gate check ours, keep it for the plane, etc. Eventually, since we knew Finn would never sit in it during the plane ride, anyway (he HATES his car seat), we decided to check it with baggage.

I know many people advise against doing this, but we decided it was worth the risk. Sona and I just can’t possibly travel as much as we do, carrying a baby, a stroller, a car seat, a diaper bag, a purse, and who knows what else through airports all over the globe. So, we bought a very nice, padded car seat carrier, and we took our chances.

On the way there, the car seat was lost, which caused a few hours of panic, but it was returned to us–in great condition–later that evening.

We also carried on our diaper bag, a backpack (used for my laptop, our jackets, and the Baby K’tan), and a tote bag (for wallets, phones, snacks, Xanax, etc.). (I’m kidding about the Xanax–maybe.) The diaper bag and the tote bag both looped over the stroller handles, which meant that we didn’t really have to carry that much, at all.

All in all, it was MUCH easier than we thought it would be. All of it. Getting to the airport. Checking all of our stuff. Getting through security (though that was the biggest PIA). Flying.

Finn couldn’t have been better behaved, especially since–on the day we flew out–he had about 6 hours less sleep than usual.

We flew Southwest to New Mexico, and the flight attendants were all super accommodating and kind. Both flights (we had a layover) were full. So, we didn’t end up with a free seat, but we made do. Sona nursed Finn during take-off and landing to help with ear pressure, and he mostly napped while in flight. Honestly, Sona and I were much worse for wear than he was.

In New Mexico, we played it pretty low-key, spending most of the days lounging, eating, and chatting with Sona’s family. Finn was his usual self, and the change in scenery didn’t seem to phase him.

We stayed in Sona’s brother’s hotel and had a roomy 2-bedroom suite. He got us a crib, but it was so low that I couldn’t even reach into it. So, Finn slept in the middle of a king-size bed, surrounded by a towel bumper, the whole week. He didn’t wake up once–NOT ONCE. We couldn’t believe how well he slept, considering it was all completely new to him.

He napped really well at Sona’s mom’s house, too–also, in the middle of a bed.

Throughout the week, Finn enjoyed the non-stop attention of family. He also enjoyed the diaper-less playtime that Sona’s Indian family strong-armed us into trying. He only peed on the floor every ten minutes. And his face. He may have peed on his face, too.

The way back was easier than the way there, mostly because we had a later flight and were more rested. We flew American Airlines back to Chicago, and we even managed to score a free middle seat on the flight from Dallas to home. That was a MAJOR bonus and such a luxury. Finn slept in the seat for most of that flight.

If we were rich, we’d probably buy him a seat each time, as it was much, much more comfortable for all of us. Since we’re not, we’ll just tough it out–whatever allows us to have more vacations. 🙂

And, aside from a minor blip wherein a flight attendant tried to shame us for changing Finn in our seats, the trip back was as uneventful as the trip there.

Finn was a tad bit fussier than normal the first couple days home, but I think that was just his transitioning back to a more regular schedule. And, considering how well he did while we were gone, I don’t think we can complain.

All in all, our first trip–and our first flights–went much better than either of us anticipated. I think it quelled a lot of worries we both had about how we’d keep up our busy travel schedules with a baby in tow.

His baby passport should be arriving any day, and we plan to put it to good use. We’ll be a little more confident–and not just naively ambitious–about planning trips, now.

Here are some Insta snaps of our trip:

 

A couple of weeks ago, Finn had his 4-month check-up. During that visit, I worked up the courage to confess something to our pediatrician: I’d been letting Finn taste a lot of things. Like, A LOT of things.

To my surprise, her response was, “Great! That’s exactly what you should be doing. Let him taste everything.” I don’t think she realized the beast she was unleashing with that directive.

She calls it “food for fun.” At Finn’s age, he really shouldn’t be eating meals of solids; he shouldn’t be missing out on breast milk for other foods, but she encouraged us to let him try everything we eat–“just for fun.”

She said that trying a variety of things will help develop his palate. And, since everyone expects our kid to be a gourmand, that’s something that appeals to us. Plus, I’ve read enough hipster baby books to know that European babies are eating things like pureed leeks. Leeks! And they turn out to be pretty adventurous eaters.

More importantly, though, she said that exposing him to a variety of foods–including allergenic foods–will significantly decrease the chances that he’ll develop food allergies.

This is something we were already thinking about, as much of the research we did before having Finn seemed to suggest the same thing. Even the pediatrician who led our how-to-care-for-your-newborn class discouraged us from waiting to introduce allergenic foods.

“Shouldn’t we only introduce one new food every three days?” I asked. “Nope,” our doctor replied. “That’s old school thinking.”

According to this Slate article, and many like it, “In light of the changing tide, back in 2008, the American Academy of Pediatrics published new recommendations that reversed its old dogma. ‘Although solid foods should not be introduced before 4 to 6 months of age,’ it wrote, ‘there is no current convincing evidence that delaying their introduction beyond this period has a significant protective effect.'”

Of course, our pediatrician cautioned against giving him every known allergenic in one meal. “Don’t give him crab legs and eggs and peanut butter at the same time,” she joked. But she did say that we should be introducing those things, one at a time, sooner rather than later.

So, we have. To date, Finn has tasted–and sometimes tasted again and again–a lot of stuff. This may make some moms’ heads explode, but our little guy has had: avocado, vinegar, tea, raw tuna, eggs, peanut butter, milkshake, lemon, apple, pear, pumpkin, popsicles, Christmas cookies, pickles (he LOVES pickles), pasta with roasted tomatoes and broccoli rabe, yogurt, hummus, whipped cream, creme brulee, apple sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy, banana, creamed corn, chocolate, candy cane, french toast, bacon, and even a taste of champagne.

Are you ready to give me the Mom of the Year award, yet? I didn’t think so.

He’s been tasting so much stuff, lately, that’s it’s become a running joke in our house. My parents will call and ask, “So, what has Finn eaten today?”

He’s catching on, too. For the first week or so, I had to coax him to open his mouth, and he didn’t really chew. Instead, he’d just suck on whatever I gave him until it was all gone. And he always made a terrible face. No. Matter. What. His initial reaction to every food was to look at me like I’d just tricked him into licking turpentine.

Now, not only does he open his mouth the second he sees me coming, he also spends a good bit of time “chewing” whatever we give him. That is, as much as a kid without teeth can chew.

Further, he’s starting to want a taste of everything. Whenever he sees us eating, he looks at us and gives a little “What about me?!” squeal.

Today, I was eating leftover pasta for lunch, and he wasn’t going to let me eat in peace until I gave him a bite. Or twenty. I think I’ve created a monster.

I’m having so much fun, letting Finn taste everything and watching his reaction. Too much fun, maybe. I should probably scale it back a bit, and I plan on making some homemade veggie purees so that there are go-to healthy options. (I mean, most things that are the right consistency are sweet, right?!)

But we do feel good about letting him explore a variety of flavors. He’s already shown that he has no aversion to spicy stuff. This weekend, we’re heading to New Mexico to spend time with Sona’s family. There will be tons of homemade Indian food, and we are already planning on letting Finn try most of it.

When our pediatrician told us that we should start playing with “food for fun,” I think she meant that the one having most of the fun would (should) be Finn. Oh, was she wrong.

 

A few weeks ago, we decided that we needed to start transitioning Finn from sleeping in the Rock n’ Play, which was next to our bed, to sleeping in his crib.

There were a few things that necessitated this move: First, my wife returned to work a week ago. She wakes at 4:30AM to get ready for her day, and we knew that, with Finn in our room, she wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep. Also, we’d heard horror stories about babies getting “too accustomed” to the Rock n’ Play and flat-out refusing to sleep in their cribs. And, of course, we just knew, instinctively, that Finn was ready to sleep in his own room. (He was WAY more ready than we were, as it turned out.)

To prepare for the transition, we’d been having Finn take at least one nap each day in his crib. That went on for a week or two, and he was doing just fine. So, one night a week before Sona’s maternity leave ended, we decided to give it a go.

The first two nights, he only lasted 3 hours in his crib. At that point, he was still sleeping in 3-4 hour stretches, and we brought him into our room after he’d successfully slept the first stretch in the crib. This was both for our comfort and for his (or at least that’s how we justified it).

The third night, we decided to go cold turkey. We put him down in the crib, and we committed to leave him in there for the full night. He slept pretty well, but he didn’t sleep as restfully as he normally does.

I did what I always do: I took to Google. After reading lots of blogs and forum posts, I’d learned that we should make his crib as Rock N’ Play-like as possible to help with the transition.

Specifically, we did three things: 1. We put books under one side of the crib, making it incline slightly, just as the Rock N’ Play does. 2. We rolled a quilt (a bolster pillow would work, too), and put it at his feet. That way, he feels some resistance when he stretches and kicks. 3. We used a beach towel to make a nest under the crib sheet. I have no doubt that this has been the most effective tip, as Finn seems to really like feeling snug, and he sleeps more peacefully when he doesn’t have a big, empty mattress around him.

You can kind of see the nest in this photo (pardon his scowl–momma was waking him up by taking photos):

You’ll also see that I’ve taped some black and white art images inside of the crib. This has been really helpful, too. When Finn is awake, drifting off to sleep, they give him something to focus on. They also keep him quiet when he first wakes up. Instead of immediately crying, he spends some time looking at the pictures. (They are from this great book, which was a gift from friends. Finn LOVES the high contrast images.)

Since we did these tricks, Finn has been sleeping like a champ. In fact, not only does he sleep more soundly (less grunting and moving), but he also has started significantly extending his stretches of sleep.

This all started about a week and a half ago. We hadn’t consciously made any effort to “sleep train” him, yet. Though, we were starting to feel the pressure. It seemed like every book we saw, and every online post we read, was pushing us in that direction.

We both felt a little uncomfortable with the concept. Don’t get me wrong, we make a conscious effort not to respond immediately each time Finn cries; we want him to learn that he has to wait before his mommies run to him. We’re trying to teach him patience, and we want him to self-soothe (which is an ability that develops a little later, we know).

But the American parenting approach to baby sleep is, to me, so rigid. We aren’t rigid parents, really. We’re pretty flexible about a lot of things, and we want Finn to be flexible, too. So, while we have worked to establish a routine, we haven’t been obsessive about bedtime.

Finn seems to like a later bedtime, actually. He goes to sleep between 9-10:30 each night. And, for a long while, we thought we were bad parents for allowing him to stay up that late. Most parenting books and blogs recommend a bedtime closer to 7:00. But yesterday, at his 2 month check-up, his pediatrician said that she actually recommends a 10:00-11:00 bedtime for babies Finn’s age. She said it more naturally fits with their own inherent sleep rhythms.

That explains A LOT, as Finn fights going to bed any earlier, and now we know why.

She also told us that, as he gets older, he’ll begin scaling back his bedtime naturally, landing at around 7:00 by the time he is 6 months old.

I really appreciated her saying that. She didn’t say we should force him to bed. She didn’t say we should watch the clock obsessively. She said we should just let it happen naturally.

Turns out, that’s kind of what we’ve been doing. We’ve been watching Finn’s cues and following them as best we can, trying not to worry too much about whether or not he’s sleeping long enough or at the right times or according to the 1,298 parenting philosophies floating around.

And guess what? It’s working! Look at this graph, showing Finn’s daily eating, changing, and sleeping patterns:

As this shows, starting right at the 8-week mark, Finn started sleeping longer and longer each night. His sleep stretches increased nearly a full hour every single day. He started that week sleeping 5-6 hours at a time, and he ended it having slept 10 and 11 hour stretches.

We didn’t really do anything, actively, to encourage this; we just got out of his way.

Of course, the first few nights that he slept long stretches, we watched the monitor like crazy ladies. And when I woke up one morning to find that he was still sleeping after 9.5 hours, I went to check that he was breathing. (Don’t judge.)

But, so far, it seems like Finn is settling into his own sleep patterns. He still wakes up at around 6:30 sometimes. When he does, it takes about 15 minutes to give him a bottle, change his diaper, and put him back in bed (awake). He’ll fall asleep, on his own, a few minutes later.

Most days, he wakes up between 10-10:30. We have our mornings together, listening to music, watching The Chew, playing, and then he’ll go down for a nap around noon.

Things aren’t all so easy. As the day goes on, he resists naps more and more. He hates his 5:30-6:30 nap, and he usually sleeps pretty restlessly during that time.

And, though he’s super easy to put back to sleep if he wakes during the night, getting him down that first time is pretty tough. That’s the one time when we can’t put him in his crib awake, expecting him to fall asleep on his own. It’s like he knows it’s bedtime, and it’s his life mission to resist it.

Sona usually nurses him until he falls asleep. Then, she puts him in his crib and sneaks out of the room. Half of the time he stays asleep. Half of the time he wakes, screaming, 5 minutes later. On the nights when he wakes, it’s usually an hour-long battle to get him to fall asleep.

But–we’re getting there. I’d forgotten what 8-hour stretches of sleep felt like, and it makes our lives a lot easier now that he’s sleeping through the night. The pediatrician warned us that, with sleeping, it’s “a few steps forward, a couple of steps back.” Still, I’m glad that Finn is leading the way.

I know, I know–stuff is just stuff. But there is some stuff that makes life easier, especially life with a tot.

We were told to register for lots and lots of stuff while pregnant with Finn. Everyone had recommendations for something that we “must have,” and we  found dozens of checklists, urging us to buy this many onesies and that many bottles.

As first-time parents who wanted to be (over)prepared, we, of course, got completely caught up in the hype. So, we over-bought, and we likely could’ve gotten by with much less.

Still, there are some things that have been incredibly useful–or fun, or convenient, or sanity-saving. And, as Finn grows and we find uses for new things, I’ll share what gizmos and gadgets are most-used and most-loved through each stage.

Here’s what I’m loving, lately:

1. Fisher-Price Rock n’ Play

This is the #1 thing that other moms recommended when we were pregnant. Several people told us this was a life-saver. So, we registered for it. Then, we ended up with several sleeper-like things and, in an attempt to limit redundancies, we decided to return the Rock n’ Play.

Fast forward to the first week of Finn’s life. We had been home 2 days, and Finn was not sleeping in the Nuna, which is what we’d planned. So, as I’ve mentioned on the blog before, I used the Amazon Now app to order the Rock n’ Play at 5AM one morning. Three hours later, it was delivered, and Finn slept soundly in it for the first 7 weeks of his life.

We transitioned to the crib 10 days ago, but we plan to still use the Rock n’ Play for naps and chill time. The mommas were right, y’all; this thing saved our life.

 

2. Zip-Front Sleepers

Dear g-d, we never could have anticipated how much time we’d spend snapping buttons on sleepers after a gazillion late-night diaper changes. You think that 2 minutes of button snapping won’t completely ruin your life? Think again.

So, when we happened upon these zip-front sleepers, we quickly realized that they saved us a lot of time. What’s more, we don’t have to clumsily fumble through a mysterious maze of snaps at 3AM.

There are plenty of brands that sell similar PJs, but we have several of these ON ones, which are relatively inexpensive.

 

3. Baby K’tan Baby Carrier

We have three baby-wearing things: the Ergo, the Moby, and the Baby K’tan. We get a lot of use out of the Ergo, and it’s the best for long-distance walking and carrying.

The Moby, which is all fabric, is more comfortable for wearing around the house. However, we’ve run into two issues with it: First, it’s a little complicated to put on, especially if you are by yourself. For those who haven’t seen it before, it’s basically a 10-foot long piece of fabric that, when folded in half and twisted a thousand ways, can be manipulated into a carrier. Because it’s so long, it’s a little unwieldy.

More specifically, though, it is just uncomfortable for me, as I’m, well, round. The tie doesn’t fit me nearly as well as it fits Sona.

Because I wanted something to wear comfortably and easily at home, I went in search of another carrier. Enter: the Baby K’tan. I was immediately drawn to the fact that the K’tan is looped and goes on like an infinity scarf. There’s no elaborate knots to tie, and you can throw it on very quickly.

I also love that it comes in various sizes; it’s not one-size-fits-all. Now, I can wear Finn without fearing that he’s being smothered between my larger-than-average boobs.

Since we got it a week or so ago, we’ve used it every single day.

4. Lavender Oil

I’ve alluded to this before, but our little dude went through a pretty fussy phase. Luckily, he seems to be calming. For a while, though, we just wanted him to chill the *@$! out. (It had to be said.)

One thing that seems to help him relax is lavender oil. We’ve used it since he was an itty bitty, mostly in the evenings. Or when he was freaking. Or when momma was just plain desperate.

We use it a few ways. Mainly, we put it in diffusers all around the house. He has a diffuser in his nursery, which we turn on about 30 minutes before bedtime each evening. We also put a few drops of the oil in his bath water or dab a drop on his chest before sleepytime.

Maybe it’s all placebo. And maybe it calms the mommies more than it calms Finn. Either way, we keep on using it, and we think it works.

5. Halo Micro-fleece Swaddle

I’ve sung this swaddle’s praises before, but it’s magic warrants an encore.

You know that commercial where Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard hurriedly race to wash their daughter’s bunny, panicking that her one security item is soiled? Yeah, that’s how we are with this swaddle.

Sure, we have a drawer full of a dozen swaddles, but this is the only one that seems to work consistently. I think the micro-fleece is what does the trick. Because it’s not stretchy–like most of our other swaddles–Finn can’t wiggle his way out of it. So, instead of spending all night fighting the swaddle, he spends all night sleeping snugly.

These are just a few of the things that have made the first couple months of Finn’s life a little easier. What are some of your baby faves?

Let’s not kid ourselves: I’m only 3 weeks in, still deep in the trenches, and hardly in a place where I can give sage parenting advice.

But I do have one thing going for me: I’m a nut when it comes to research. Just ask anyone who has ever been on vacation with me. They’ll tell you all about my neuroses–how I know every hidden spot on the island, every local restaurant, the best spot to capture Sunsets on Tuesday evenings during the summer solstice–and all well before our arrival. I’m just crazy like that.

My approach to parenting has been similar. That is, I’ve spent a good deal of time scouring the internet, reading books, and watching parenting videos. It’s not that I’m blindly searching for someone else’s parenting philosophy to adopt; it’s just that I like to be as prepared–and informed–as I can be.

This can be crippling, too, of course. And a large part of being a parent is just working from–and trusting–your instincts. It’s important to look in, as well as out. But it’s also important to recognize that you aren’t the first person trying to soothe a baby or get them to sleep through the night or teach a toddler to line dance. (okay, maybe you’re the first person doing THAT.)

Nonetheless, even though we are all experts when it comes to our babies, sometimes we could still use some help.

One of the references that I found early on is Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block. The pediatrician who led one of our childcare classes actually recommended this book, saying it saved her life when her baby had colic. When I looked on Amazon and saw that it had nearly 2,000 glowing reviews, I was sold. (Amazon reviews are basically the compass by which I live my life, anyway.)

We actually got the DVD instead of the book (because, lazy). We ordered in weeks before Finn arrived, and kept it crammed in our TV cabinet. When I got home from an outing the other day and found that Sona was nearing a meltdown because our cherubic little boy had been screaming his head off for much of the afternoon, I decided it was time to watch.

Let me preface this by saying that this DVD is dated. I mean, it was quite possibly shot on a Super 8. But don’t let that scare you. It’s definitely worth enduring.

The first thing that made us feel better was that there were “real moms” and “real babies,” and the moms were all exhaustively explaining how much their (mostly newborn) babies cry and how helpless they felt when they couldn’t soothe them. “See, we’re not the only ones!” I said to Sona, who seemed immediately comforted by seeing other moms’ misery.

Karp’s philosophy stems from age-old baby soothing techniques. He employs these techniques during the first few months of a baby’s life–a time he calls the 4th trimester. He argues that, basically, newborns are just fetuses living outside of the womb. In order to make them happy and comfortable, we have to try to make their environment as womb-like as possible.

Enter the 5 S’s: Harvey’s alliterative list of soothing techniques. Here they are:

1. Swaddling: This is really the most important step because, without doing it, the others likely won’t be effective. You start here. We’ve found that Finn LOVES to be swaddled, but he is a bit of an escape artist. And, because he is so dang long (this kid is a basketball player in the making), it’s been tricky finding a swaddle that works for him–and one from which he can’t wiggle his way out of.

First, we tried the SwaddleMe Adjustable Infant Wraps by Summer Infant. We got the small/medium, which is meant for babies that are 7-14 lbs. Well, our 7.14 lb newborn outgrew these in one week, which was a total bummer. I actually think these are the most user-friendly swaddles of the ones we tried. They get very snug on top and the velcro seems to stay fitted. However, they are just way too short–something I’ve seen other moms complain about, and Finn could use his feet to stretch the swaddles out enough to break free.

Next, we tried the Halo Sleepsack Swaddles. I actually like these a lot, as does Finn, and I think they will be great for when he is a little bigger. He likes that he has a lot of room to move his feet, and that roominess prevents him from stretching out the swaddle too much. Plus, they come in microfleece, which is great for our chilly house. However, right now, the top just doesn’t swaddle him tightly enough, and he can always break his arms free. If he even senses for a second that he can get an arm out, forget about it. That will be his project, and he won’t get a wink of sleep.

Finally, I ordered the Miracle Blanket Baby Swaddle. This thing is like a straight jacket. Ironically, it’s the only swaddle without velcro or zippers, but it somehow manages to keep our little wiggle worm snug all night long. It’s the trickiest to get on, but–in our experience–it’s the most effective.

Finn sleeps in one of these swaddles every single night and, if he’s super fussy, during the day, too.

2. Shushing: The inside of a mother’s womb is full of sound. Think about it: the blood is rushing, the stomach is gurgling, the heart is beating. So, despite what we sometimes think, babies actually LIKE noise; it calms them.

There are lots of options for noise: radio static, a hair dryer, a vacuum (Finn slept on my shoulder while I vacuumed the whole house when he just a week old). The one we’ve found most effective is a sound machine. We have them EVERYWHERE. When Finn sleeps in his MamaRoo during the day, we keep the “ocean” noise up as loud as it will go. At night, we have the “rain” setting on our sound machine up very loud. We even have sound machine apps on our iPhones, and we will play it for him if he gets a little cranky while we are out.

Dr. Karp also advocates for very loud “shussssssssh”ing in the baby’s ear. We were already doing this with Finn, but we weren’t doing it loudly enough. Karp says that you should “shush” as loud as the baby is crying; if he gets louder, you get louder. We’ve been trying this, and it seems to work really well. I get right up in Finn’s ear and “shusssssssssh” louder than you’d think I should. It usually calms him.

3. Sucking: Finn loves being on the boob, and he often falls asleep after breastfeeding. Sucking settles babies. So, if your boob isn’t handy, you can also try a finger or a pacifier (neither of those really work for our boob-obsessed guy).

4. Side or Stomach Position: We all know that our babies should sleep on their backs; that’s the safest position. Yet, when they have their cranky pants on, it can help to put them on their sides or on their backs. This really helps Finn when he is gassy; he LOVES having the pressure on his tummy.

After watching Karp’s DVD, and learning that swaddling should always come first, we’ve also realized that Finn likes being on his side most if he’s swaddled. It’s easier for us to hold him that way, too, because he’s like a little package. When his legs and arms are dangling, it’s too distracting (and distressing) for him and for us.

5. Swinging: I’ve intentionally saved the best for last. Swinging–or rocking–babies is nothing new, but what Dr. Karp does is different. He does the “jiggle.” And, let me just tell you, The jiggle has become a life-saver in our house! “Just jiggle him!” is now our favorite phrase.

Karp’s jiggle allows the baby’s head to wiggle back and forth in a motion that, frankly, would probably freak most parents out had a renowned pediatrician not shown them how to do it.

He does it while the baby is in his lap, swaddled, and he does it with the baby in the football hold, swaddled. Jiggling Finn while he’s swaddled and in the football hold has worked best for us. I face him towards me, hold him around his waist, allowing his feet to go behind me, and put his head in my open palm. Then, I just wiggle him. Since his body is swaddled, his head jiggles pretty easily. This usually really calms him down if he’s fussy, and it puts him to sleep at night. The first night we tried it, in fact, was the easiest night of sleeping in his short, 3-week life.

This YouTuber demonstrates the jiggle (and all of the other steps) pretty well at around the 2:00 mark.

Another thing Karp does on the DVD is vigorously shake the baby in the swing. Like most moms, we have been gently swinging or bouncing Finn. Now, when we are trying to get him to sleep in his Rock N Play at night, I shake it pretty vigorously, too. It’s more of a 7.0 earthquake than a soft rocking. And guess what? He loves it!

Of course, these things don’t work all of the time, and you are likely to find a screaming baby in our house any day of the week. But, when he IS screaming, it’s really comforting for us to know that there are reliable ways to intervene.